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I'm Beginning To Realize Something...

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Altavalon's picture
on April 1, 2013 - 8:40am

No one in my life, my circle of contacts seem to care that much when I'm suffering. It's not surprising in the slightest but it might contribute as to the real reason why I have so much trouble with a) making and b) holding onto friends. Maybe I'm just not a likeable person? Who knows. I'm generally pretty nice and caring and will give advice to anyone who needs it but god forbid whenever I need it in return no one has anything to say except the generic 'I'm sorry that things are hard for you' or a sad pitiful look in my direction. Am I just not worth the time to make feel better?

Yes, the MCR breakup hit me hard, my job keeps dealing out these changes which are hard to get used to and while my life is falling apart everyone else around me is dealing with their own life problems which makes them too busy to notice me. If I want to be treated to a 'get my mind off my problems' day, guess who has to pay for everything to make that happen? Me. Who has to arrange it? Me. Not only am I the one who has to plan something to make ME feel better. ALL...OF...THE...TIME, but either I'm doing that by myself, which is depressing enough as it is, but I'd have to pay for everyone else that I would want to be with me. What the hell is the point of even trying to feel better, happy or anything. No one else ever wants to inconvenience themselves so I have to do it. I give up on being happy. If no one else wants to try, why should I? (sorry, just ranting)