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help me

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T̸̡͙҇͂̓̔h̵̨̛̠̀̀̔e̵̬͗͜͡ N̵̡̛͚̖̑ơ̴͇̟͚͗̃̀͢ǐ̸̛̬̥̌͢r̷̢̭̳͆̈́̕'s picture
on August 14, 2019 - 10:26am

I need advice. how do you break up with someone you deeply love and dont want to lose without losing them? My friends basically offer no help other than making me feel better. Anyways, i think its over between him and i. Ive told him multiple times why im angry with him and why i literally walked away from him when he called my name this morning. He said "oh im here where are you" i told him im in the cafeteria. He comes in, waves at me and goes to get breakfast. He never came to sit with me. we had late start today and had till 830 to eat breakfast. He got his breakfast then spent the whole time standing talking to friends across the cafeteria. He saw me for the first time since june yesterday and barely gave me a hug. I think he might also be cheating on me but idk. im just done with it. i get more anxiety when im around him than the anxiety he comforts me from.....
but i really dont wanna lose him. i still love him but im done with being in a relationship with him for now. anybody got advice?

also one of my best friends is dating a guy that i like. she said "oh, him? yeah we're currently "talking" and we're probably gonna be together soon" i said yeah i know him too and i like him. a lot. and now theyre dating. so she basically broke the girl code. And if they break up, and he asks me out, imma date him. she broke girl code so i have full rights to him if their relationship ends.
hope that doesnt make me a bad person. eh i dont care if it does i already knew im a bad person so it doesnt matter

totally stressed out rn tho. and i cried from 945 to three in the morning last night thinking about this.