from darkness to light pt 2

So what else? So things took a turn, slowly , y cousin was slipping away. He started smoking, which alienated him to me and my siblings, it hurt me but I still loved him. Eventually though, he would have to move away because my Aunt had gotten a job not local. So, I guess we said goodbye, although I honestly don't remember this...I very likely suppressed this, but nonetheless, he was gone and I was alone. My siblings are younger than me and at that age, it was significant. So I felt alone...
But I moved on (this still is not the light I speak of though). I had neary forgotten all the pain until I met a guy pretty similar to my cousin...ah, I should just say that I loved him that way. He was no good for me though. Had issues and was kindof a womanizer amongst other thinhs and well golly gee, this is not about him. Anyway, though he made me remember my cousin. At the time, I thought maybe here's my chance, find someone like someone I love...of coirse, like I said, the guy was no good for me and I had to end it. Leaving me heartbroken again...at least I wasn't alone. My BFF (even tho we don't talk anymore today, he will always be my BFF), well he was there...might mention him again some other day.
anyway...