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Another one leaving? Oh this is too much!!!

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msunevershouldeverknow's picture
on December 12, 2016 - 11:23pm

Ok, I will live, but this really hit me tonight (er, this early morning). Was just beginning to sit down to read the blogs of BVBRyanMCR. And I really liked the format you used and that ...well crap! I hope it wasn't supposed to be a secret...but I'm a little bummed! And I hope you see this and come back!! (well, part of me. The good part only wants to wish you well. :) )

Well, so I will just repeat what I said in the comments (well i'll try). I'm nearing the end of a chapter in my life (perhaps that is why this struck me so deep), and also a beginning. I wanted to use this blogging format to maybe tell my story some day. Maybe not necessarily here, but somewhere. So, well let's try it. Since you inspired me to check out this song, or "song", well that will be my first one...and i'll go from there.

Today's mood: mixed of mellon collie and peace (not sure the mood title. :P)

Today's favorite song: 'Bowie' by Flight of the Concords

Today's Movie: I'll put Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer (although I watched it Saturday)

Dream Journal: Ok, so I'll put last night's. What I remember is being in a HUGE lecture hall, no auditorium. However, it was a gym class. My high school gym teacher was there, but I was supposed to lead the lesson with this auditorium filled with crazy high school students. I was a nervous wreck! I was like a substitute for the day so I hadn't had any time to plan or anything. And there was chaos and several activities going on at once and I remember some getting dressed up behind the curtain for the "talent show" that was to be held later that night and I was thinking I'd get roped into going to that somehow...somehow I ended up in one of the auditorium seats and was a student again and I felt like such a failure because I couldn't do it...(OMG!!---

The Story: The story is that I'm feeling like a bit of a failure in real life too! I'm struggling to do even the few simple things I need to do every day. Today was the first day I sortof got back on track, but it was a good weather day too, or something. But yeah, I've been in a funk and just feeling a real lack of enthusiasm in these day to day things, getting sucked into social media to escape and going hours without eating and then just eating small (today I ate full and on time meals though. yay!) but then sleeping at like 4am (yeah, remember all of my posts in the last few months?? phew! can't believe how long it's been...)

But now, I feel the fog is being lifted again! I hope I can continue with this...although I haven't really had much success per se, at least I'm focused. (i hope)

The 'fun' fact about me: um, I just purchased markers from another country. wtf right?! hehe but they're cool! if I can figure them out! ha! (blending markers-is this primarily a UK thing? because I had never heard of them until recently)

something something something. I'm terrible at catchphrases. This seems to be my sendoff lately with another group though.

K, bye!

I've been mocked for it though...I don't give a sh*t! hehe