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zzombieyum's blog

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zzombieyum's picture
im sad all the time

isnt it weird that we can get drunk? like im feeling a lil buzz from the beer, but i dont get that from fruit juice. just weird.

i am still very very sad about tim. i'm just so confused right now and im sure he must be too,.... been shut in my room cuz of it. been playing fidlar on guitar and thats fun tho. i hadnt broken out the electric in a while but im into their song called "alcoholic" so i play that.

my parents are worried. i havent said anything. you guys are the only ones i talk to about how sad i am about missing tim....

xoxoz

zzombieyum's picture
is fanfiction beneficial to youth?

i found the topic for my argumentative paper! you would not believe it, but there are many scholarly articles on the harms and benefits of fanfiction. from teaching english to non english speakers, to engaging those who would not read otherwise, to engaging communities, to connecting people. those are all pros. but there are also cons, such as parental fear, lack of supervision, overly sexual content, questionable copy write... of corse i'll be arguing that it is good. but i'm excited to work on this paper now. maybe i'll do better with this one as i am more engaged!

if any of you have any

zzombieyum's picture
shit day.

today has been a M E S S.

i miss tim so much i cried from 5:00-7:00 tonight and like aggressively. he's being so nice even though i know he is sad too. i hate myself for doing this to us. i don;t even really know why i ended it with him, it's just something i do sometimes in relationships. actually, often.. i break up and then we get back together. im sad thats not how it's going with us i can't write any more though i feel like i'll cry again and i haven't cried for nearly an hour

watching MCR live videos has gotten me thorough the past hour though so thanks :*

i got a D+ on my paper it

zzombieyum's picture
watch me cry online

im really sad because i miss tim so i cried a lot and then made this video of me myself and my ukulele and that made me feel a little better feel free to watch also you can see my new tattoo in it so if you wanna see the ink feel free to watch cuz of that too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mteKnqG0dM&feature=youtu.be

xoxoz

zzombieyum's picture
i got a tattoo

i got my tattoo and it looks excellent! it's a 1/2 sleeve on my arm and its bluebells, a peony, sunflowers, a butterfly and a bee. its just the outline but i'll fill it in once i have some more money. it was $200 for like 2 or 2.5 hours so not bad at all!

xoxoz

zzombieyum's picture
respect your elders

i have a MCR fan account on Instagram named mcr.nerds and it's pretty successful! but the thing is, everyone on there (and here) is 13 or so... and i have no problem with that! but i feel a little self conscious about being 21 (nearly 22).. like i feel like the odd one out. but age has never limited friendships in the mcrmy. i feel at home with the mcrmy, even with age differences, language differences, and distance. in fact, i think it enhances the mcrmy!

anyways, i hope i don't seem like a creep for being the oldest one... or at least feeling like the oldest i know blueburnsblack and

zzombieyum's picture
going back to campus

turns out my school will be open in the fall. classes begin 9/2! I'll be with the same roommate as last year though, so that's exciting! there are a lot of changes....

for one thing, just about all classes will be online. my bio lab will be hybrid, but other than classes that need to be in person, they will be online. and in person will have social distancing and masks and all that. i still feel like i'll need to be on campus though. there are so many distractions at home that being in the school setting, even if it's zoom classes in my dorm room, will be better.

there will be nasal testing

zzombieyum's picture
I'm still kinda drunk and kinda desperate

As I posted before, I broke up with my boyfriend. I still feel very sad about it sometimes. I am at my friend's appartment now. We got very drunk and took a nap. They're still sleeping but I'm already up. I think they're waking up now. I broke up on Thursday and I already have two guys asking for it pics and BDSM sex from school. ????? I have been talking to one of my friends from school and he directly offered rebound sex. Sure, why not? Idk when we would. Maybe when we go back to school if we go back to school. Or maybe sooner. Idk but regardless I think I will.

zzombieyum's picture
breakup

hey guys!

today i broke up with my boyfriend. i often felt like i was walking on eggshells when i was talking to him. i felt like i had to be careful with what i would say so i would not offend or upset him. regardless, i have had a very good time with him :) we were together since august and i have enjoyed spending as much time with him as i did. i was just at a point where i was ready to move on. i wanted to look for a more serious relationship and i just wasn't feeling the same as i had been feeling.

i felt that i had been mature. I was sad to say goodbye and i said that.

zzombieyum's picture
i am who i am.

ok so i dont know if you guys know this but i am gender queer and use they/them/theirs pronouns. i've been needing to mask and hide this part of myself from my boyfriend. he found out by accident before i was ready to come out. he was really upset that i wasn't a woman but i lied. i told him i wasn't genderqueer anymore. i told him that it was a phase that i'd grown out of.

but it wasnt a phase. i'm still genderqueer. even if i'm in a dress, i'm gender queer. if i bind or wear a bra, it doesnt matter. im genderqueer. I talked to killjoysneverdie a lot about it.

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