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talking about a bunch of random stuff that's been on my mind

bruh should i stop calling everyone i know "dude" and "bro" and "man" and "guys" and "boys" since those are gendered??? cuz it just occurred to me that some people probably don't like it when i call them that. like nobody's ever said anything, but that doesn't mean they like it, you know? dang like i'm rethinking my entire life because i say it so much and i'm just like "huh, i probably made a bunch of people uncomfortable". i need alternatives cuz yeah huh i don't wanna accidentally exclude people.

k brainstorming, i already call people "kid" all the time because apparently i'm a dad,

if you're feeling down, read this because some of these posts are bumming me out and i really want the best for all of you, even if it only means brightening up your day for a few minutes, even if i don't know you, whatever, this applies to EVERYONE, not just the people who have known me for awhile.

i know that a lot of you are going through a bunch of different things right now that are probably causing you to feel all sorts of awful. a lot of you might not even know why you're feeling down.

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tag urself

i already did one of these before but it's fun and also there are new people, so yeah, this time based on ~colors~ cuz colors are cool

- the most chaotic out of all of your friends
- maybe not romantic but if you have a crush on someone you will not shut up about them
- your energy levels??? need to go WAY down
- definitely into anime
- music taste: the more happy-sounding emo music that you can dance to, like danger days and newer fall out boy?? maybe paramore, something of that vibe

- people think you're shy cuz you ARE shy
- probably the nicest of all of your friends
- also

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the sacred post (tm)

copy+paste this in your notes, i made a classroom called "the safe haven" for anyone who wants to join. the code is: s7jzyzh ... i would recommend joining this with an email that does not include your last name just for privacy reasons--like an anonymous email. i made a post for guidelines, do whatever you want.

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dam who else got the living jeezus scared outta them when the website stopped working

lol at this point we can all agree that this website is therapy for the people who either a) can't afford therapy or b) are too afraid to talk to their family or friends about their issues, so THAT was borderline terrifying. i stg i almost had a mental breakdown spiraling into the worst-case scenario that this site would never get fixed cuz of how small it is and that i had nobody's contact info yyyikes we gotta make like a back-up google classroom or sm so that we can still maintain this community if this happens again. i missed you all, it's only been like a few days haha.

but there are a

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lol just thought about my life today and immediately started crying (rant)

bruhh i know the whole "it's okay to just exist, you don't gotta have a purpose" like okay yes i know and appreciate and understand that but this isn't about purpose, it's about happiness. cuz dude if i'm already unhappy now can you imagine what it'll be like when i'm an adult and have to have a job and provide for myself. like dude i /already have no friends/ now, imagine when i'm an adult and it'll be even harder to make friends.

but okay before anyone's like "don't be sad and don't stress ur still a teenager ur not an adult yet just enjoy it" yes yes yes, i know.

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this post was supposed to be about one thing but then turned into several others

dude i remember wanting to be emo so bad in middle school and wearing all black and stuff and i thought i looked so cool, but in reality i just looked like some random kid who wore black, like i did not look emo at all lol. like how i looked today was what i /thought/ i looked like when i was in middle school--like really edgy and stuff. which is honestly epic. like i still wanna be /more/ edgy than i am now becaaause i feel like my mom does not like how i dress so doesn't let me get that many emo things, but also because i really like my style and i wanna get more clothes to amp it up.

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wow you know what i just realized today

okay so online school completely ups your chances of making friends by 10000% and HERE'S WHY:
everyone is alone. there are no tables, no group, just each individual person in a camera. no friend groups, no social ladder. and you can actually see each person in your class whereas in a classroom, who you see entirely depends on where you sit. through this format, my dear introverts, you don't have to approach anyone.

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whoa dude

several things i feel like writing about. 1) today was my first day of tenth grade and it didn't suck by any means but it wasn't /good/, like it was just a /day/, there wasn't anything special about it. i don't think school can ever be good tho ngl. but anyway for online learning we got periods 1, 2, 3 & 4 on mondays and thursdays and then periods 6, 7 & 8 on tuesdays and fridays if i'm not ~mistaken~. wednesdays are like. work days i think. but it's pretty chill. online learning is v chill cuz i don't gotta do much, just sit in a chair.

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the process of trying to be healthy again

aight so trigger warning before anyone reads this.

lol i'm only writing this because i posted about this on like tuesday or something and i feel like i should give an update, like i feel like i owe it to you. and also there's nowhere else to talk about this. so basically this is an update on my last post about how my eating habits have changed from normal to "no joke i think i'm developing an eating disorder." which, you know, is reeaaally fun.

this is a very ~special~ problem because i have the resources to get better (as in healthy food in my house that will help me to not starve) and i