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opal_rose's blog

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my first speech tournament

i have my first tournament for speech on saturday!
i'm so nervous, i'm like rapidly trying to memorize my speech lol
it's weird, because it's online, but i'm glad i have a live one for my first one, for some of the online ones you just prerecord something and send it in.
i only have to perform it three times though, because there's no way i'm gonna break (move on to a later round) xD

opal_rose's picture
ok, how am i so incompetent that i can't even memorize a fricking speech?

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great, now halloween is ruined

so just found out my grandpa's yarzheit, or death anniversary (in the hebrew calendar) is on halloween this year, so we're gonna have a siyum, or a meal, over zoom with my family.
just great.
the one thing that was supposed to bring me joy will now just be filled with pain.
the worst is that the way i grieve, i don't feel pain until years after the actual death, so everyone around me is crying and i feel like a sociopath for not crying.
this was the thing i was looking forward to, finally something fun, and now it's all down the drain.

my mom asked me if i wanted to hang out with anyone

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could i have OCD?

i'm starting to wonder if some behaviors which have just been normal for me since i was like 8 could be signs of OCD...
like if i don't run out of the bathroom before the toilet is done flushing, someone in my family is gonna die.
or if i'm not under the covers in my bed, with whatever video/music i was listening to skipped to 2:12, within 10 seconds of getting something from the kitchen at night...something's gonna happen (there is a specific thing, i'll get too panicked if i type it out though).
or if i don't have my phone plugged in, lined up perfectly with the corner of my dresser when i

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someone hmu i'm bored as frick
opal_rose's picture
using mcr lyrics in drawful

i was playing this game called drawful with some friends, and we had to caption a drawing of like a bleeding pony or something lol, so i just captioned it "blood, blood, gallons of the stuff" xD
one of my friends, actually the friend kind of responsible for me getting into mcr, recognized it and just said "which one of you is responsible for putting my chemical romance" lol

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unsettling google classroom titles (tw? idek)

so i'm on my school's speech team, and one of our novice directors put an assignment on the google classroom to remind us to finish cutting down our pieces for tuesday.
the assignment was called "cutting!"
it was so incredibly unsettling for me to see that one word alone, with an exclamation point, all excited, every time i opened my google classroom, even though that sounds stupid. (i think you can deduct why it was unsettling)

i filled out this anonymous feedback form that we were given to give feedback to the novice directors though, asking them to change the name, and they did!

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powerpoint night

i'm doing a powerpoint night with some friends tomorrow, which is where you make a powerpoint about literally anything, silly or serious, and present it to the others, and i have no idea what to do for miinnneee
they're all much more creative and funny than me, and i can't think of anything for mine agh

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i'm not good at shit

now i'm really sad because i'm just not good at anything
i can't draw
i can't sing
i can't act
i can't dance
i can't be funny
i can't be pretty
i can't be normal
i can't give good advice
i'm not good at anything, i'm not good for anything
all i can do is nothing

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anyone wanna chat?

anyone wanna chat?
i'm bored af because i gave up on recording karaokes, they were all too terrible lol

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