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barriers.and.danger's blog

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barriers.and.danger's picture

Hope everyone’s okay (:

barriers.and.danger's picture

Sorry I’ve been gone for like a month, but those who follow my blog know I’ve been really struggling over the past few months. I’m happy to say I’m feeling so much better thanks to my medication and animals. I’ve began to fight my eating disorder because I’m fucking sick of it. My anxiety around food is so much better. I’ve still got a long way to go, and I know this process will take years, but I’m the right track to recovery. There is hope, and one day I promise you will find it.

barriers.and.danger's picture
Help pls

How do I get out of quasi recovery? I’m maintaining a low weight and have lots to gain but I don’t know how to take the step to real recovery... my mum doesn’t want me to start eating what I want either because she’s scared if I gain weight quickly I’ll freak out and run back to my ED....

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I got baby mice! They’re two females and I called them Frankie and Gee! I love them so much!
My mum’s going to force me to put weight on because if I don’t I can’t get any therapy but if I put weight on I won’t feel masculine anymore and my dysphoria will get out of hand but they can’t do anything about it guys help me

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Fuck me

I really want my meds to kick in already, they’re making me feel grouchy and lethargic. I’ve been on them for about a week and a half and they’re meant to kick in two to three weeks after you start them.
I am enjoying nothing in my life anymore. There’s nothing online that brings me any joy, nothing I do does either. Everything is so bleak and boring. I feel so fucking dead inside.
My psychologist keeps saying she can’t really help me. I don’t know what to fucking do.

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Everyone’s going to hate me in a minute, but here goes-
I’m transmed, I believe being trans is a scientific condition. I believe you can either be Male, female or neither. I definitely do not believe gender is a spectrum, because your gender is something that correlates with your brain. It’s been scientifically proven that when you’re trans your brain is closer to that of the gender you identify as, and I find it hard to believe your brain can be physically born as no gender, although it is possible. But I REALLY don’t think it’s as common as people think. You NEED DYSPHORIA TO BE TRANS.

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I’m on meds whoop whoop let’s see if they worrkkkkk! My anxiety/ depression/ ed thoughts/ dysphoria/ dysmorphia is so fucking bad so hopefully they make them better

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Pissed (TW)

Please don’t read this if you get triggered easily or to purposely trigger yourself (: <3

Lmao lowkey told my psychologist I was planning to kill myself and she didn’t give a FUCK- we’ll see if she does when I’m stuck in the children’s hospital for like 3 days throwing up into a shitty cardboard hospital bowl
My dad wants me sectioned lol they don’t care enough to do that shit
They’ve all told me that there’s no solution to my situation and they want to chuck me into this like therapy school, even though I already go to hospital education
ALTHOUGH I saw Cavetown and Chloe Moriondo live last

barriers.and.danger's picture

I fucking hate being trans. It’s the worst part of my life. Why can’t I just have a fucking dick? Is that too godamn hard to ask for? Dysphoria just makes me want to sink into the floor and never resurface.

barriers.and.danger's picture

Even my psychologist says there’s no way out of my situation lmao I’m so fucked gonna attempt next week and see how that goes