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Jammin' Needles's blog

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This Is How I Disappear

I've been awol. Lock down is not fun.

Reach out and hold my hand please.

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But The Past Ain’t Through With You- here we go again!

Ticket secured!

Wow I can’t believe it! And what a wonderful way to get back to England to see my aunt and cousins!

Nothing but joy for all of us who made it and nothing but support and sympathy for the ones who didn’t get it.

I know a tour is coming loves. This isn’t the end!

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It Was the Roar of the Crowd - The bandom frenzy

I feel the excitement - the bandom is writhing, pulsating in anticipation. Dripping in euphoria at every tease!

I'm from FL, USA but I'm going to try for tickets on Friday. It's 9:30 GMT.

I'm mostly on twitter- @TestTheWorld

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Awake and Unafraid- An Update on My Mother

Guys! I didn’t want to get my own hopes up but things really turned around for my mom today.

She is 100% off the sedative now and her eyes are open! Oh god. She’s gonna make it! I’m in tears of joy! Oh my god!!

I can’t even! I was in the middle of my wind-down routine when I got a call from my brother!
Oh heavens yes! I can’t stop the flow of happy tears! <3
Thank you for your prayers, your vibes, your energy to her and to me. Honestly we put enough food into the world together that she was able to come back!!

I love you all!!!!!!
<3 Needles

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I Can See You Awake Anytime In My Head- A sanity update

Happy new year, MCRmy!

I have to say thank you so much for even just a few of you check in on me as I started losing my mom at Thanksgiving time.
Honest and true, writing about it here was the most therapeutic act that helped me process and understand how I could move forward.-0- Because of that I am remarkable FINE now. I'm okay. In the sense that no, I'll never be the same without my mom (she's still sedated and the doctors haven't said anything good after the brain scans came back as low functioning).

I keep having dreams where she's here with me. I love love love my mom so much.

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Stuck?

I am still at my family’s for a few days and I have no car.

Should I order pizza or chinese food? I don’t know...

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It was the roar of the crowd: A song by song review of the Return show.

4 days ago, I stood in line with my bandom family to witness the RETURN and welcome back a band that meant so much to all of us. More than half the people attending were first time MCR goers. All of them thinking they would never get the chance to see this band that had helped shape them with their music.

And me, I never thought I would stand in line with this family again. The crowd experience was part of the excitement.

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The Hardest Part of This Is Leaving You- an update on my mother

With only 3 days between me and the stage my mom has been given a prognosis... a 90% chance that she won’t wake up again.

Guys, my brain is in a weird place. I don’t have hope anymore. I’m preparing for the inevitable. For the shoe to drop.

My heart is broken.

But we carry on.

I’ll be at the shrine ready to lose myself in the most blessed catharsis I could have.

I love my mom.
<3

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Let’s Go Back To The Middle Of The Day That Starts It All- Update on My Mom

My mom has brain damage they think from lack of oxygen during the 8 hr surgery. Her personality will never be the same if she even wakes up from her coma-like state.

So yeah... neuro team will confirm tomorrow.

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I Hate The Ending Myself- An update on my mother post-op

Update on my mom. The stroke was confirmed. Also without sedation she’s actually in a real coma now.

Everyone deals with things in their own way and I don’t know if it makes me cruel but I can’t see her like this. It breaks my heart so much and my dad asked me not to come just yet.

The odds are not good. I might never see my mother again.

But I’m still going to CA for the MCR show. It’s the only thing holding me together.

When I get back there won’t be anything to look forward to.

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