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Asedfernas's blog

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Slipping away. Everything is. I screw everything up. And then I wallow at the bottom of the deep hole I've dug for myself. MCRmy where are YOU? Come back. I need you. SOMEONE. ANYONE.

Happy birthday Gerard

My hero. You've gotten me through so much you don't even know. Thank you for making this band. For fighting so many battles. If you ever see this, know that to me you're greater than all the heroes you've come up with put together. Thank you. Thank you. Somehow I hope this thought or feeling reaches you.


Ever feel like you're too much of a financial burden to your parents or that they see taking care of you as an obligation rather than something they genuinely want to do? I feel like my parents go out of their way to make themselves unhappy and then they explain to me how they're unhappy because of me.
I grew up with two older brothers who were lazy af, but both geniuses. They failed a couple years of college just coz they didn't give their assignments in on time or other shit like that. I know I'm not as smart but I work twice as hard.

MCRmy cutting rumour

OMG guys, I'm so sick of everything that's going on. Yes, we're shocked and heartbroken and shaken but that's no reason to go cutting yourself because of this ordeal!! Even to joke about it is just nonsense!! It's his life, and yes, we're allowed to be concerned because of how closely we hold then to our hearts, but that's no reason to cut yourself. What about all of the MCRmy who really didn't know it was a joke and took it seriously and DID cut themself?

School and Other Drugs

So I'm in matric (grade 12). I always had this fantasy that my last day of school would be being Mikey, playing I'm Not Okay, stopping everyone while they're writing their exams or something. There were a lot of dreams I had. About MCR, about school. But slowly I'm learning to let it all go. I guess I'm gonna be ready for Danger Days soon. Coz I think that's what DD was about. Letting that person who was so full of hate and fear and loneliness go. I mean, no one can escape that person fully. As Gee says, it's our failures and depressions that make us who we are.

I really love Zone 6

I know it's probably said thousands of times before, but I really mean it. When I'm going through this timeline reading everyone's blogs, it's like this state of unity. "Ubuntu", if you will. But the way we all act as a family, supporting us...we're just one huge ass MCRmy. And that's beautiful. When I'm here, I'm home.

Losing hope

Is it me?? don't know..since when does MCR sell watches, play the game- make money from all these itunes shit just doesn't sound like them. When you think MCR, you think, they aren't gonna conform and be like all the other bands, they aren't gonna say we need to do this and this to keep our fans at their throats- they did it much better when they didn't sell stupid watches- it's like people or they themselves are doing stuff just to make money- when I watched that video on the home page it just...didn't seem like them- maybe I'm just high or slowly losing my mind

Happy bday Big G! You deserve all the happiness in the word

Happy birthday Gerard, you sassy thang!! You deserve all the happiness in the world! From all the shit you've gone thro',to the amazing person you've become. You're the strongest, craziest and most courageous person I'll ever know, the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned, an even BIGGER HERO than the one's you've created in you head put together and the one reason thro the chaos, I stay sane. Wishing you the best day ever! xoxo MCRmySOUTHAFRICA loves you!

Affirmations to myself

it's sickening how absent-minded some people can be. The boys in my class are always teasing me that MCR is gay and their music sucks but they haven't even heard it!! I just get so angry and it's like nobody around me knows what it feels like to really be touched by their music and how it makes you feel like you aren't alone and it's okay to be who you are. Even if it means you're just a lonely kid that doesn't fit in. MCR helps me enjoy being who I am. I couldn't be bothered about what people think of me, and it's thanks to them. I can live my own life, be who I wanna be.


My dad likes Sing!! =D He heard it on radio yesterday morning and was like "well....this song has some meaning in it" ---I was overjoyed, I mean, he usually doesn't even classify MCR as music! Do anybody else's parents listen to MCR?