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BlueBurnsBlack's blog

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Crossing the Rainbow Bridge

on May 11, 2018 - 9:52am

My Autumn ( 12 year old Golden Retriever) has crossed the rainbow bridge this morning as of 10:30 AM eastern time.

I loved her with all my heart. She was the best momma dog, you could ever ask for.

It was really hard watching her die in the vet. But I know she’s in a better place.

She’s probably happy now and with the rest of our past pets. And the rest of my family up in heaven.

Until we meet again Autumn...

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We couldn’t think of a title

on May 8, 2018 - 2:48pm

Ok so yesterday I went to my group therapy thing ( NAMI) and there was a girl there, she had on a MCR shirt; and I told her I had the same shirt; she smiled and giggled a little, but I didn’t really speak to her that much.

Since the group therapy thing is mainly for ( mental illness recovery) we talk about our illness and how we are coping with our illness.

So there’s that.

Other than that summer is approaching and I went on vacation this past weekend.

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Death of the robot with human hair

on April 19, 2018 - 5:24pm

So I think I got stood up. I feel so hopeless now and it sucks, I haven’t felt this down in a long time.

My friend in the u.k. Hasn’t replied to my emails in over a week; I’m scared she “kicked the bucket”. And my other friend here the one that stood me up, I feel like she doesn’t really like me more than a friend.

I know most of y’all will just tell me to get over it and grow up. I just hate how I’m always being used.

Life sucks, people suck. I’m done trying

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Update on Life

on March 4, 2018 - 5:46am

OK here is post #2

Soooo Other than my rant I just posted things are going well. I got a new puppy after I got out of the Hospital on the 9th of February.

I think he came home around Valentine's day?

So I was totally surprised by a new puppy.

His name is Bentley and he is a Golden Retriever.[ he will be my 2nd and replacing my older Golden Autumn after she dies. :'( ]

My old girl is 12 years old and in really bad health.

So I'm happy with my little pup.

Also I put in an application to Kroger back in January?

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The End to a Toxic relationship Revisited

on March 4, 2018 - 5:32am

Ok so I have two blogs to post this is the first one.

Anyways lets get to the blog. I have an Ex named Staci who is super Toxic, and is just plain out a Psycho.

She treats me like shit, and expects me to be nice to her and give her everything she wants.

( Example she calls me for phone xxx) or she wants to hangout with me, but never follows through with her plans.

Also she lies to me a lot and says she is just joking with me; I can't stand people like that, because after a while, you can never tell if they are being serious or just pulling your leg again.

So She asked me out a while back,



BlueBurnsBlack's picture
Friday January 12, 2018 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

So we will start off with the Good news. I think me and the girl in the U.K. are in a long distance relationship now, She never really told me?

And I put in an application to Target to be a Cart Attendent. Not sure if they will consider me?

Anyways I went to the doctor's yesterday because I have been feeling Depressed for the past couple of weeks.

So here's the Bad news.....

Since I was feeling Depressed and a little "S", they upped the dosage of my medications, because that's basically all they could do to keep me out of the hospital.

I haven't started the new dosage yet but I think I'm alright for now.

I'm just kinda hanging on, a thin line between Stable and Depressed.....

It's kinda like a waiting game to see when I'll snap again.

BlueBurnsBlack's picture
Tuesday January 02, 2018 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Lol yes I said it backwards on purpose....

How’s everyone doing? I hope y’all all had a good holiday season.

I know I did. I think I might have found a girlfriend, the only thing is she lives in the uk. but I’m keeping my options open just in case.....

Never know what might happen... so we shall see.

Didn’t get a lot of presents for obvious reasons....

But that’s alright I got what I wanted.

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Monday December 18, 2017 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Hey guys so it’s close to Christmas, I already got mostly everything I wanted. A car, new bed, new sheets, Video Game, and for New Years Eve I’m going to Macon to blow up some Fireworks with my brother and his wife, and her co worker has bought $6000 worth of some cool stuff.... so it’ll be a blast.

Then I’ll be at my dads house over night.

Anyways my ex from when I was 18, sorta introduced me to her BFF, back around my birthday, so we have been talking for a while; and I finally got her #.

I don’t know if she likes me more than a friend though but I do like her.

Her name is Michela ( makayla) and she lives in Florida.

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Friday December 08, 2017 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

The Distance and my Heart to sand, flowing through the hourglass I fall to pieces I can't let go; of all the times I never said goodbye.

Just say that it's over, it's over and she's gone.

Well yeah that's basically how I'm feeling right now.

A mixed up cluster of Confusion, Depression, and Despair.

My Ex from 2014 of whom we have continued to be friends for a while basically told me I only like you as a friend and I never want to date you.

So I'm like ok....

That basically devastated me, given the fact we never met in person and she doesn't know me that well.

But it is what it is.

I hate it that every time I meet some one they either "Friendzone" me or "Ghost" me.

It happens far too much.... I guess it's because no one really wants to date some one with a Mental Illness?

Fuck it.

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Sunday November 19, 2017 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Hey guys, so I’ve Moved since I last posted idr if i posted that or not.

Anyways the holidays are coming. I got some stuff for myself already, but I kinda have a list.

I’m going to round 2 of Thanksgiving this afternoon ( My Dads side of the family). So yeah how are you guys doing?

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Wednesday November 01, 2017 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Where are you? And I’m so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight.

We’re looking up at the same night sky, keep pretending the sun will not rise, we could be together for one more night somewhere, somehow, if only I could find you.

Please hang on tight........ I’ll see you through the night, this static contact; is pulling us apart.....

Just wake me when it’s over, when the curtains raise its time to move on. Exit now credits rolling, the girl who stole my heart, the one that got away....... ( the one that got away)......

You know me too well, you’re sorry and I can tell, scene fading fade to black, your acting all this out; again. I know it’s tomorrow, your waiting for something to feel alive.

If you catch my drift here I’m trying to say I’m sorry for the hurt I caused you back in 2014. I never meant to do what I did; my friend pressured me into what I did.

If I could have you back you know I’d take you back in a heart beat.

But I know you’re happy with whoever you’re with now.

I just wanted to say I miss you.

If by chance you do read this or are still on this site S.R.

Then this is my apology.