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BlueBurnsBlack's blog

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BlueBurnsBlack's picture

Perpetual perplexion

on August 8, 2019 - 5:49pm

Ummmm I don’t know what that means, but it sounded smart so yeah.

Anyways I finally called my girlfriend today, I was really scared and nervous at first, because I thought I was going to get catfished, which still might very well happen... ( you never know); it could be a sting operation. You never know nowadays.

But I hope it’s the later and she’s real and who she says she is.... I’d hate to have to go back to searching...

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Summers End

on July 31, 2019 - 1:53pm

Well Summer is over. Kids go back to school tomorrow, my vacation is over, back to work tomorrow.

Feels like this year has gone by way too fast. We’re already in August. Just one more month and 24 days and it’s my birthday.

I’m an old man!!!!!

College football is right around the corner, so is NFL. And if I’m lucky my baseball team will make it to the playoffs/World Series....

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Vacation #2 Summers End/Winters Bliss

on July 23, 2019 - 4:58am

Well I leave for Texas on Thursday at 1PM. I’ll be there till Tuesday next week. I’ll be at the Largest Waterpark in the US for like 4/5 days. I’m super excited. I also have a Girlfriend now; who lives in Charlotte, North Carolina.

I really want to meet her, (we haven’t yet) but I have a picture and I’ve heard her voice, and she is really cute.

Anyways summer is almost over, and I feel like I spent most of it, at fucking work. Like I had a week for Memorial Day Weekend; at the Beach.

BlueBurnsBlack's picture

Update

on July 17, 2019 - 6:40am

Well I no longer feel quite as lonely as I have been.
I met a girl on a site called no longer lonely, she lives in North Carolina though; so gotta work out how to meet in person.

But things are going well, I guess you could say....

My managers haven’t fired me, so I guess that’s a good thing, and as far as I know; they didn’t write me up, but idk....

Anyways I’m doing well now. I know summer is almost over, and I’m kinda bummed in a way. I didn’t spend too much free time at the pool, or outside the free time I did have, I was either on the Internet, or playing video games...

Now I feel like

BlueBurnsBlack's picture

Work situation

on July 14, 2019 - 6:46pm

Well they did ask for the dr note. Which I don’t have one so I lied and said I left it at home....

So I have to go back to work tomorrow, knowing they’re probably going to ask for it again. So now I’m worried my time is over at work.

I’m honestly scared that they’re going to get rid of me. Like idk how much longer I can stall, and make up excuses; for not having a drs note.

I’m honestly more worried that if I get fired, I’ll not be able to find another job; because of bad reference from Kroger.

Also I’m worried I’ll loose my car if I get fired.

Pages

MY BLOG

BlueBurnsBlack's picture
Wednesday July 03, 2019 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

I’m so alone...

I feel like it’ll always be this way. No one cares about me, no one likes me.

I mean there is one person, but like I said before; she lives in the United Kingdom.

Everyone here, that I’ve encountered either won’t date me because I’m Bipolar, or they won’t date me, because I don’t have a Full time job/ Career.

And I don’t have a College level education....

You know what I have to say about that, is a big

Fuck you. I’m more than just my illness, I’m more than a fucking piece of paper, that says I have a college degree...

Yeah that’s nice and all, and you can probably get a really nice career and all but, it’s not for everyone....

I have too many problems with myself to attend college.

Bipolar and Anxiety being the two big ones.... but also I have learning disabilities....

Not sure what they are, but I learn slower than most people...

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Tuesday July 02, 2019 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Well I know it’s 2 days early and some of y’all might not live in the USA; but happy 4th of July.

Remember kids, let the Adults, who have been drinking all day blow shit up....

Just kidding though, you should never mix alcohol with Fireworks ...

Well that’s pretty much all I wanted to say.

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Sunday June 30, 2019 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
A three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath a vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
With just some quick arithmetic
I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
And with a wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
And love for me has been renewed

From Harold and Kumar.

But I like that poem, reminds me to never give up hope

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Friday June 28, 2019 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Well what more could I say, I fcked up and made her mad. She broke up with me, before we ever even met in person.

She was fine with the whole part about me having Bipolar depression; she was fine with me only having a part time job, but when I told her I didn’t have enough for dinner and a movie, she got defensive and called it off....

She was a cute girl, and we liked each other a lot, but I guess it was for the best....

Anyways I am ok the poetry was no way shape or form about me being “S” but rather Me explaining how I have no luck here finding someone who will care about me; when I have some one who does care about me, that lives an ocean away from me; in the U.K. This girl in the u.k. Has all the same problems as me and we’ve known each other for almost 2 years now, but the price of a flight just to go visit for a few weeks is so fcking much.

I wish I could see her, but i don’t even know where to begin....

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Thursday June 27, 2019 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Sitting alone in confinement, my heart aches, shattered, ripped apart, I feel the inevitable blundering of death slowly creeping in... oh dark angel, won’t you take me away from here? Take me to a place I belong? I feel like there’s no one who will care if I leave this place today....

Oh dark angel the pain is unbearable, it feels like something’s gripping my throat, squeezing, these terrors, gripping my throat, squeezing....

So sleep.

Just sleep.

If only the person I wanted to read this had an account on here.

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Friday May 11, 2018 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

My Autumn ( 12 year old Golden Retriever) has crossed the rainbow bridge this morning as of 10:30 AM eastern time.

I loved her with all my heart. She was the best momma dog, you could ever ask for.

It was really hard watching her die in the vet. But I know she’s in a better place.

She’s probably happy now and with the rest of our past pets. And the rest of my family up in heaven.

Until we meet again Autumn...