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Zurp's blog

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Zurp's picture

sorry but.

on May 15, 2020 - 10:51pm

OMFG igot the new Harley-Davidson Skate shoes and GODDAMN those shits are dope.

Zurp's picture

CHEESE.

on May 15, 2020 - 12:31am

awright so i just had a wierd idea. do yall remember the HE NEEDS SOME MILK vine? so like i was thinking, if the meme is old, then so is the milk. so every time you would say "he needs some milk" a couple years ago, you would say HE NEEDS SOME CHEESE!

Zurp's picture

ayo its fucking ZURP

on May 15, 2020 - 12:25am

okay so i have no idea what to write. also if this was the fucking wastes, i would honestly go by Zurp, or Slime, or like Obsidian. BLASTA came from this really shitty killjoy name generator. also, i've gotten really good at typing with one hand. Also, i've noticed that i almost always start a blog with "okay so" or "awright", It's fucking wierd. Also, i just now realized i use also too much. Yall never relize that the mom from fucking onward is a karen?

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ayo it's furry hunting season.

on May 13, 2020 - 1:31pm

so right now in my high school, it's the beginning of furrie hunting season. basically, if you're a furrie in elgin, you besta hide. i don't always participate, cus i don't care what you do in your bedroom, but if you gon be goin to school in your fursona, ima get medieval on yo ass. jk, like i said, i don't actually care. i only participated once cus this girl i was out with called me to her house, and my boner dropped when i saw her in a fucking fursuit. i left her place faster than the blood ran out of my cock. swear to god im traumatised.

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ch ch ch ch changes

on May 11, 2020 - 8:12pm

so guys i usta be blasta now ima change my name and image hope yall don't mind my new name is Zurp

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MY BLOG

Zurp's picture
Monday May 11, 2020 
| Posted by: Zurp

so guys i usta be blasta now ima change my name and image hope yall don't mind my new name is Zurp

Zurp's picture
Monday May 11, 2020 
| Posted by: Zurp

1. My actual name is Jonas after the terrible boyband which leads to number
2. My friends nicknamed me "Zurp" after the first time i tried lean. i ended up in a ditch after spraybombing the town.
3. all my friends have really dumb nicknames. Aids, Brain and his sister Chain, Doc, Wiccer Chair, Jingur and Lil Jing.
4. I have been to more punk/metal shows than there are years in my life.
5. I still don't have a phone.
6. I can skate, but i don't have a board.
7.I've been in 3 bands. A death metal band called The Executioners, a neo-grunge thing called Blackend Sunspot, and a hardcore punk band that we decided to call The Damaged Goods.
7.5 I can play guitar. and bass guitar. and saxophone.
8. my favorite song is probably Asshole by Denis Leary. really. if you don't know look it up.
9. my favorite video game is Splatoon.
10. i used to have a pink mohawk. i'll fuckin do it again.

Zurp's picture
Saturday May 02, 2020 
| Posted by: Zurp

why was i born here. not a question, a sentence. so many musicians i love gone, or too old, or broke up. and the ones that are popular suck and we destroyed everything. or maybe im wrong, and the elliott smith is getting to me. i wish i could've known him. but man, between the bar is really effecting me.
also now my crush's brother is mad for some reason and my other friend says it's cause i replaced him. HOW THE FUCK COULD THAT HAPPEN! I mean, they've known me for, like a month, at best, and they've known him for years. It's impossible, i didn't want that, i just wanted to hang out with other punks, you know? i just can't...what.. and now my schizophrenia is acting up and the fucking assholes in my head won't shut up and my nerve damage is getting worse. I JUST WANTED TO SKATE! i just wanted to have friends i can relate to.

Zurp's picture
Wednesday April 29, 2020 
| Posted by: Zurp

i like hazbin hotel
i hate furries.
i also fucking love angie and want his spider co-

sorry.

Zurp's picture
Monday April 27, 2020 
| Posted by: Zurp

Jojo Ferocious and the Commie Committee
The Neon Circus
Free Range Extra Virgin callalalalalala
Edgelord 560
Sludgefest

Choose one. please. this is taking forever...

Zurp's picture
Wednesday April 22, 2020 
| Posted by: Zurp

PistolShootFace
JoJo Ferocious and the Commie Committee
Sludgefest
Digory Dunkirk and the Shovels of Virtue
Free-Range Extra-Virgin 100% Vegan Assmeat Substitute
Lick It Tung
The Neon Circus

and Harbinger for Hire suggested: Edgelord 560 after I roasted them.