i have so much school work to do and i am so stressed but i can't process anything that im reading and taking notes on. my boyfriend just went home, he went to the protest with us and then slept over. why can't i focus??? i have so much work to do and i hardly did any yesterday.
xoxoz
tonight. 5:00. franklin park. there's a protest. and fuck yeah, i'll be there.
im excited to get my voice heard in a sea of voices. i'll leave if it starts feeling uncomfortable or like violence is coming. i'm going with my boyfriend and my parents. i'm so lucky that i know so many people who care about these matters and are willing to go to protests because they care that much
i'm scared, of corse. these protests have gotten violent and i am scared of being arrested or hurt or tear gassed. but im also excited to be part of history. 2020 is such a shitty year. but its also a great opportunity to make a change. if somethings wrong, its our responsibility to make it better.
im passionate about human rights. thats why i want to be a social worker. and social workers need to be on the front lines of change. sometimes literally. this fight is bigger than any one person. its been building up for centuries. im proud of people going to protests and making a change in any way they can. i guess that means im proud of myself as well.
anyways, thats my little rant.
wish me luck at the protest! i made signs "black lives matter" "i can't breathe" "stop killing black people" im going to hold up those signs and just let myself feel the anger. anger is more than appropriate in this moment.
xoxoz
My family just got in a huge fight about weather we need riots
My brother said never never ever. Not Stonewall, not the Boston tea party, no riots period.
And the rest of us were like wtf. Black people are practically being massacred, they need to be heard.
If this is what it takes to get change, this is what it takes. And honestly America has such a police problem, I don't think this will even really change much
But I want to see change. If I could, I'd like to be at a riot. I'd be scared shitless. But I want to help. I want to play my part in fixing America any way I can. This is out revolution and fuck it I want in, I want to do something.
Riots are nessisary in our world. Period.
Xoxoz
heyaaa!
i've been mostly doing pretty well in the time since my last post. been busy with school work but trying really really hard to do well with school. it's hard! i got a B- on a quiz today and i'm pretty disappointed about that, especially since i did great on the practice tests, homework and exercises. the quiz was way harder! and it was only 11 questions so when i got 2 questions wrong it really impacted my score :(
eating has been good, but i still feel pretty guilty about my diet and what im eating. but i'm trying really hard to stay strong and not let my fear of food consume me. part of me always just wants to give up and give in and just stop eating until i starve. i always want to see how long i can go without eating, but i'm working really hard to not do that! the guilt can be pretty overwhelming some days, like today. but i'll be okay.
i love this site. it's like our little corner of the web that's hidden pretty much in plain sight. i feel comfortable to post on here because no one knows about it except for like-minded killjoys! and you guys are all so great <3 especially sweet_phantom! what a cool kid!
anyways, just wanted to check in with y'all. things are getting real in the world with the protests. but it's necessary in my mind. it's scary. i'm scared. it's in Boston, it's in my territory. but if something needs to happen, something needs to happen to get things going. if we sit in silence all the time, no one will listen. we need to make our voices heard. people of racial minorities are ignored and treated like they aren't even human and that pisses me off. i can't believe that its 2020 and people still can't just respect basic human rights? what the fuck! it's scary, it's violent, and it's real. we need to do something or nothing will change.
xoxoz
'snapfuck'??? who thought this would be the population who would be intrested in 'snapfuck' spam??? like seriously.
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in other news, i just got up a little while ago. i'm listening to tcfsr and drinking tea. not a bad start to the day :) once i'm all woken up, i'm going to start working on schoolwork. i need to take quiz 3 today or tomorrow. the quiz doesn't close until Monday but then quiz 4 doesn't close until thursday... actually i might be good with taking quiz 3 tomorrow lol
i'm worried that summer school will loose it's novelty and i'll just stop doing the work and my GPA will go down and i'll be very sad.
i need to pick up a prescription from my doctor's office. it's in framingham, a 25 minuet drive, not too bad. maybe i'll write out my study schedule and then head out...
i'm really feeling tcfsr today. it's my least favorite album by chem, but really digging it today. the MCRmy is so wholesome, don't you agree? like i've had two bad experiences with another killjoy in my whole life! that's not very many. i think it's because the guys have such good intention and they're good people.
i'm going to go on my journey framingham i guess.
have a good day luvs :*
xoxoz
today i just can't get into school work. i just have to review for a quiz that i don't even need to complete until Saturday. but i need to be on top of it because i have another quiz on Monday! i had such a productive day yesterday so i'm kind of annoyed that i can't focus today... i guess it was a good thing i did most of my immediate work yesterday.
it's not like i have anything better to do, anyways. i ran some errands this morning, even though it's only 10:00 here. it's been very hot. it's going to get up to 90°F today!
xoxoz
