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msunevershouldeverknow's picture

I want grapes!

on August 31, 2016 - 5:01pm

After like 3 months of having minimal appetite, well, my appetite has returned over the last two days ...

AND THERE'S NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE! wahhhhh!!!! :( Yes, the only thing is meat, meat, meat. And, ok, while I am fine with a little meat, I NEED my fruits and veggies too!...(actually, now that I'm writing this, i realize there are a few cans of beans. oops! ...but I mean, I need my GREENs, and like carrots, potatoes...)

and I want grapes! ;)

that is all.

haha just kidding. ok, well, not really.

msunevershouldeverknow's picture

It's been awhile...and I still don't know what to say ;)

on August 27, 2016 - 9:32am

Hey all!

Well, it was really nice to read up on the latest entries. Not that it's nice that you have any troubles, but...well, I've just been on an emotional roller coaster myself as of late, (actually, I've been on a literal roller coaster recently too) and well, it's just comforting to be around others who understand. :)

I AM here because I'm just reaching out. idk i really can't bring myself to form any real thoughts about specifics though.

well, maybe just that age certainly doesn't mean everything. I mean, we still grow, even as adults.

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Hope Everyone is Okay!

on July 21, 2016 - 12:58pm

Wow! I didn't realize I could come on the Community section until right now. haha

Well, I just wanted to say that I hope everyone is taking this recent news okay. I think it's good that they announced the truth. Should it have been sooner? Probably, but at least they did it. And personally, I thought it was all very exciting, although I knew not to get my hopes high.

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My One Year MCR Anniversary

on May 14, 2016 - 8:03pm

Happy "birthday" to me! Exactly one year ago, I ordered my first MCR tshirt and picked up The Black Parade at my local Walmart (all they had WAS the censored one, which is quite funny when you get to "Blood". :P)

To mark the occasion, today I wore that shirt and played the full BP album, and then I took The Black Parade is Dead to my folks and proceeded to watch this with my Mom. Isn't she sweet? :) Dad even peeked in a little!

I really want some striped sleeves like Gerard wears. HotTopic doesn't seem to carry these, so I will have to look elsewhere.

What else?

msunevershouldeverknow's picture

This is the Best Day Ever!!!!

on April 8, 2016 - 2:39pm

on repeat on

found this beauty

"aweoh you guys are gonna make me blush!" :D (Gee)



msunevershouldeverknow's picture
Friday March 11, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

I forgot to say this in my newest post!! Well, I DID talk to someone IRL and of course, they didn't remember this event and all this person could tell me was "we all make mistakes when we're young, and you've gotta forgive yourself". Good advice, but I already knew that. I guess I was looking for someone to feel sorry for what I went through thing doesn't even compare to what some folks go through, and I realize I'm being childish. Talking over things has been great, but I don't need to be looking for pity also. I survived! And learned from it! So, I should just be thankful. :) Sometimes it just takes awhile to realize these things, but that's what I had to realize.


msunevershouldeverknow's picture
Friday March 11, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

Wow! Are folks coming back here cuz of the upcoming anniversary??? Just curious. It seems a little busy here for a Friday night. (i do see many are getting ready for Spring Break though too).

Anyway, just a little update. Doing better today. Got a dose of reality and I'm just gonna have to let this one go (if you've been following my posts, you'll know what the hell I'm talking about. I don't want to bring it up again cuz I'm just trying to forget.) Uhhhh,

shoot! don't you hate it when you forget what you were going to say???...

hmm, well, thanks Deadboy, for that new video! Kindof skimmed through it. (honestly, right now, I need a little break from these, but it's always exciting to see new videos popping up!!! especially these earlier ones ('04 is still early)!!

I really can't remember anymore. Ohhhh yeah, was just going to bellyache how I spent like half the day in bed . finally got up to cook at around 3 or 4pm. after eating, guess who went back to bed? Not to sleep though. (this is very odd behavior for me...but I think it's out of my system. I think I just said f' it! and I took my day of "mourning". Somehow, I got going again though and even got to talk and brag a little more about the Rmy!! :) You guys are great! (but we already know this ;))

Well,...just wishing everyone the best! Have a good night or day!


msunevershouldeverknow's picture
Thursday March 10, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

Thanks to those who responded to my last blog. If you haven't read it, you still can. but I wanted to make a new one with some new information...well, I'm kindof winging it as I get my thoughts together here, so bare with me plz.

I have something I want to get off my chest. I want to tell someone here that might actually know how to help me with this (here as in real life). I waited many years because I did something that, while you folks might not judge me, others here would have...I'm not so much afraid of this now, but it's the fact that I don't think anyone will be able to help or even remember this thing or why I acted so peculiar that day.

And my questions all kindof go back to that day or those 2 days and like what exactly happened. when did they happen exactly? (I'd buried this for so long, it's getting a blur) Me and "this person" seem to be the only ones who know about what happened those nights and I couldn't get straight answers with this person...and even what I did get, was somewhat differing accounts of it! I still think this person was wrong in some things, but could've been right in other things that I forgot. I wanna stop and say something to the Rmy but...I think it's just my biased opinion and it might not do any good to share, so I won't...for now anyway.

What else?...I think I will just be pushing aside any worries. I think I know what I need to do to stop worrying (nothing harmful, i assure you) although I do have doubts about some of my other methods of moving on...not physically harmful, probably not even mentally harmful...but I just don't know. that's where I wish I had an answer...although maybe it's simply an answer of just being patient.

Ok, so the other weird thing about last night is that, "this person" and I talked about this person's friend and I was trying to recall the last name...couldn't get it....but last night, THAT FB account popped up!!! like, seriously, what are the odds!! (I mean, yeah, I've been blind before, but i swear, why couldn't i find this when I actually could...well, it possibly might not have made a difference really. I guess i was just wracking my brains trying to remember and it could've given me some ease. ah well!)

In other news, it's freezing again so maybe that's why I don't feel so sad. The warmer weather was bringing back some memories, which sucks though, because I like that weather!!!

Anyhoo! I'm gonna stop this now so I can get me some water. lol Nice, refreshing (freezing) water! ;)

Hope you all are doing well!


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Thursday March 10, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

Not sure how to say it...going through something right now. I'm confused, I'm ...well, I'm too worried now to be sad anymore, ah, it's probably me overthinking again...I'm's just been a crazy weird sortof time for awhile, crying for days and then tonight something weird happened. Basically, I mention this person, who's the muse of the tears and whom I haven't talked to in a long while, (to a "stranger", not someone this person could know) and then this person like drops off the face of the earth! All the public accounts suddenly gone! (I started thinking of this person about a week ago and all this stuff was still there). Hmm. again, Idk how to share it, the connection I had with this person, or if I even need to...just send me some good vibes, prayers, and whatnot! It's really weird and I'm like waiting for a phone call, or I'm hoping not to have one...omg!! like what could have happened!?! It could be nothing or it could be the worst!!! Why can't I get answers? I even want them now?...I always feel like answers are important, good or bad, but ...

ohhh I was trying to move on!!! Ok, I suppose I could just push this all aside and hope for the best. Why, why, all this weird stuff to interrupt this grieving process!!!??? I don't know how long I can wait for the answers...maybe, just maybe this is a sign that it IS over...that I just have to give the f*ck up! It certainly would be for the best...I just feel like something has been ripped from me and I'm so very confused.

Ok, well I'll try to sleep and maybe tomorrow will be better.

I don't usually post things like this's like been coming to this for awhile now. I think I just need to "scream" somewhere. I trust you'll be forgiving or idk...i don't really know what to expect. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn anymore! (well, of course I do but) I'm just ...I'm just gonna go cool down now.

Love you guys! I'm Not Okay (I promise), i'm not even joking...I'll be fine, seriously (I hope). What's the (and why I love Frank)

the lyric..."I need you, i need you i need you ...i need you to know, I'm alright" :D -She's the Prettiest Girl at the party and she can prove it with a solid right hook (Thanks Frank!)

Best to all of you!

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Tuesday March 08, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

it's almost 3am again and I always get in the mood for talking when i'm tirrd (but i've gotta go to bed soon so) anywayz,

okay, what can someone tell me about BigWorm. I've become obsessed and I don't even know really anything about him. It's just that accent. I just love it! what the hell! somebody help me! I want to know more of this mystery person. (there's hardly anything on a google I guess I just check in on the twitch thing for now??) he's pretty funny too!

msunevershouldeverknow's picture
Monday March 07, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

It's actually only 3something in the AM, but I love that Pencey Prep song! (helps me not feel so bad when the hours pass like that and I still can't sleep. Somehow, I get to sleep soon after that)

Anyway, sorry for this silly blog but uh, I just wanted to say that I hope to be back regularly on by the end of this week/early next. Which means, I probably will be coming here much less. It's really awesome to meet all you folks here though. I hope you come join us either on DOA/G/Charbar/Ana's new blog, or either talk or INO, because YOU are our next generation and my fellow "newbies", and I'd like to hang out with you all more!

Alright, before it actually gets to 4AM, I'd like to get some sleep.

"So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye, and SLEEEEEEP!"

Good nights and good days to you all!!