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msunevershouldeverknow's picture

haha it's me again! 3, 2...

on September 20, 2016 - 10:48am

Just a quick one for now. I just realized that in 3months and 2 days from now (well, give or take a day from months being 30 and 31) well...

IT WILL BE MY ONE YEAR anniversary on this Community! :D

I just love anniversaries and milestones. I DO tend to notice them more often than not, but hey! It's good to sortof be aware of where you've been and to where you've come! It certainly has been a crazy year!...ok, but well, let's not recap yet. I hope to be back Dec. 22 to do this.

Meanwhile...MCRX!!!! Can't wait! :D

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it's 1AM, its 2AM, its 4 in the morneh-hen

on September 20, 2016 - 2:58am

Actually, its closer to 5 now here. Ughhh, what a night!

Well, I will spare the details...and, now of course, I forget what I DID want to say aboutit. Oh! Just to Ibroughtyoumybullets, I guess I sorta feel the same way as you..although replace boyfriend with hubby...and well, I hope it doesn't get to the hubby part...but...but yeah, people are just...well, they are justthe worst sometimes! And the shitty thing is, some are just the absolute best and yet, put the two together and well, the worst people tend to ruin it all! I...idk. who knows, maybe I am the worst!

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I want grapes!

on August 31, 2016 - 5:01pm

After like 3 months of having minimal appetite, well, my appetite has returned over the last two days ...

AND THERE'S NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE! wahhhhh!!!! :( Yes, the only thing is meat, meat, meat. And, ok, while I am fine with a little meat, I NEED my fruits and veggies too!...(actually, now that I'm writing this, i realize there are a few cans of beans. oops! ...but I mean, I need my GREENs, and like carrots, potatoes...)

and I want grapes! ;)

that is all.

haha just kidding. ok, well, not really.

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It's been awhile...and I still don't know what to say ;)

on August 27, 2016 - 9:32am

Hey all!

Well, it was really nice to read up on the latest entries. Not that it's nice that you have any troubles, but...well, I've just been on an emotional roller coaster myself as of late, (actually, I've been on a literal roller coaster recently too) and well, it's just comforting to be around others who understand. :)

I AM here because I'm just reaching out. idk i really can't bring myself to form any real thoughts about specifics though.

well, maybe just that age certainly doesn't mean everything. I mean, we still grow, even as adults.

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Hope Everyone is Okay!

on July 21, 2016 - 12:58pm

Wow! I didn't realize I could come on the Community section until right now. haha

Well, I just wanted to say that I hope everyone is taking this recent news okay. I think it's good that they announced the truth. Should it have been sooner? Probably, but at least they did it. And personally, I thought it was all very exciting, although I knew not to get my hopes high.



msunevershouldeverknow's picture
Wednesday April 06, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

Eh, hey guys!

I haven't been coming on lately, wasn't even going to post neither (haha either I mean, of course).

I..ok, well I am technically speaking, a grown up, but I still feel young at heart most of the time (which is good. I really believe this! And that thoughtkeeps me young too!) Anyway, I have been doing some growing up...or been forced to grow up some this week. It's painful! I really do feel like a teenager some days! So like I get it!

why do we have to grow up? Well...well, I guess it is to help our next generation. Well, honestly, it's just the way life works, but " we xan live forever if you've got the time". Hehe getting a little off focus here, but well, I missed this kidding around about MCR. It truly is sad how soooo many people don't get MCR!! I mean, my peers! And my elders too. It's...well, isn't there some saying that what we find important that others don't, well when we find those people that do share this with us we become even stronger?

omg! "When im here no longer you can be stronger and if I" (was that right? Oh man! What a lovely song! I just keep loving it more) and I keep loving you all more!!!

Keep running Killjoys! Never let them take (oh I can't even finish this without tearing up :P)

Never let them take the light behind your eyes!

Peace and Love!

msunevershouldeverknow's picture
Saturday March 19, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

I feel like I just have to say SOMETHING. It's been a week since my last post (a new record of consecutive not posting days). It's true that I am dedicating most of my time to the forums, talk and to the end, and even INO sometimes too, but I don't want you guys to think I forget about you. You here mean a lot to me. And especially the "newbies" that helped me when I was having that initial burst of excitement for this band (it's still my favorite band and I still listen mostly to it and/or talk about it, well...every day's died down a little.)

Um, what else can I say? Come join the forums guys! Especially the up and coming one To The End. It's sortof the place for us "newbies", for us to reignite the passion that started 15 years ago (with the formation of the band).

I don't know what else to say so maybe I'll end this with some Pencey Prep, mmmm the part in my head has no words. Should I describe what it means to me??? Oh ok, the track changed (yes, still in my head). I can quote this one though...

"why are you so far away. even when you're standing next to me. Your eyes give you away, telling secrets when your mouth don't feel like talkin'"

-ahhh and that last sentence kinda is how I show my enthusiasm for the wordless music. :D

"and I'll be your Lloyd Dobbler with a boombox out in the street. AND I'LL BE THERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE, EVEN IF HE ISN'T ME"-is this not the sweetest most selfless thing someone could ever say??? Can I just say thanks to my old "Lloyd Dobbler"? Wish you well my old friend! lol You taught me to love mustard! lmao

Good night and good day all!


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Friday March 11, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

I forgot to say this in my newest post!! Well, I DID talk to someone IRL and of course, they didn't remember this event and all this person could tell me was "we all make mistakes when we're young, and you've gotta forgive yourself". Good advice, but I already knew that. I guess I was looking for someone to feel sorry for what I went through thing doesn't even compare to what some folks go through, and I realize I'm being childish. Talking over things has been great, but I don't need to be looking for pity also. I survived! And learned from it! So, I should just be thankful. :) Sometimes it just takes awhile to realize these things, but that's what I had to realize.


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Friday March 11, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

Wow! Are folks coming back here cuz of the upcoming anniversary??? Just curious. It seems a little busy here for a Friday night. (i do see many are getting ready for Spring Break though too).

Anyway, just a little update. Doing better today. Got a dose of reality and I'm just gonna have to let this one go (if you've been following my posts, you'll know what the hell I'm talking about. I don't want to bring it up again cuz I'm just trying to forget.) Uhhhh,

shoot! don't you hate it when you forget what you were going to say???...

hmm, well, thanks Deadboy, for that new video! Kindof skimmed through it. (honestly, right now, I need a little break from these, but it's always exciting to see new videos popping up!!! especially these earlier ones ('04 is still early)!!

I really can't remember anymore. Ohhhh yeah, was just going to bellyache how I spent like half the day in bed . finally got up to cook at around 3 or 4pm. after eating, guess who went back to bed? Not to sleep though. (this is very odd behavior for me...but I think it's out of my system. I think I just said f' it! and I took my day of "mourning". Somehow, I got going again though and even got to talk and brag a little more about the Rmy!! :) You guys are great! (but we already know this ;))

Well,...just wishing everyone the best! Have a good night or day!


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Thursday March 10, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

Thanks to those who responded to my last blog. If you haven't read it, you still can. but I wanted to make a new one with some new information...well, I'm kindof winging it as I get my thoughts together here, so bare with me plz.

I have something I want to get off my chest. I want to tell someone here that might actually know how to help me with this (here as in real life). I waited many years because I did something that, while you folks might not judge me, others here would have...I'm not so much afraid of this now, but it's the fact that I don't think anyone will be able to help or even remember this thing or why I acted so peculiar that day.

And my questions all kindof go back to that day or those 2 days and like what exactly happened. when did they happen exactly? (I'd buried this for so long, it's getting a blur) Me and "this person" seem to be the only ones who know about what happened those nights and I couldn't get straight answers with this person...and even what I did get, was somewhat differing accounts of it! I still think this person was wrong in some things, but could've been right in other things that I forgot. I wanna stop and say something to the Rmy but...I think it's just my biased opinion and it might not do any good to share, so I won't...for now anyway.

What else?...I think I will just be pushing aside any worries. I think I know what I need to do to stop worrying (nothing harmful, i assure you) although I do have doubts about some of my other methods of moving on...not physically harmful, probably not even mentally harmful...but I just don't know. that's where I wish I had an answer...although maybe it's simply an answer of just being patient.

Ok, so the other weird thing about last night is that, "this person" and I talked about this person's friend and I was trying to recall the last name...couldn't get it....but last night, THAT FB account popped up!!! like, seriously, what are the odds!! (I mean, yeah, I've been blind before, but i swear, why couldn't i find this when I actually could...well, it possibly might not have made a difference really. I guess i was just wracking my brains trying to remember and it could've given me some ease. ah well!)

In other news, it's freezing again so maybe that's why I don't feel so sad. The warmer weather was bringing back some memories, which sucks though, because I like that weather!!!

Anyhoo! I'm gonna stop this now so I can get me some water. lol Nice, refreshing (freezing) water! ;)

Hope you all are doing well!


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Thursday March 10, 2016 
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...

Not sure how to say it...going through something right now. I'm confused, I'm ...well, I'm too worried now to be sad anymore, ah, it's probably me overthinking again...I'm's just been a crazy weird sortof time for awhile, crying for days and then tonight something weird happened. Basically, I mention this person, who's the muse of the tears and whom I haven't talked to in a long while, (to a "stranger", not someone this person could know) and then this person like drops off the face of the earth! All the public accounts suddenly gone! (I started thinking of this person about a week ago and all this stuff was still there). Hmm. again, Idk how to share it, the connection I had with this person, or if I even need to...just send me some good vibes, prayers, and whatnot! It's really weird and I'm like waiting for a phone call, or I'm hoping not to have one...omg!! like what could have happened!?! It could be nothing or it could be the worst!!! Why can't I get answers? I even want them now?...I always feel like answers are important, good or bad, but ...

ohhh I was trying to move on!!! Ok, I suppose I could just push this all aside and hope for the best. Why, why, all this weird stuff to interrupt this grieving process!!!??? I don't know how long I can wait for the answers...maybe, just maybe this is a sign that it IS over...that I just have to give the f*ck up! It certainly would be for the best...I just feel like something has been ripped from me and I'm so very confused.

Ok, well I'll try to sleep and maybe tomorrow will be better.

I don't usually post things like this's like been coming to this for awhile now. I think I just need to "scream" somewhere. I trust you'll be forgiving or idk...i don't really know what to expect. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn anymore! (well, of course I do but) I'm just ...I'm just gonna go cool down now.

Love you guys! I'm Not Okay (I promise), i'm not even joking...I'll be fine, seriously (I hope). What's the (and why I love Frank)

the lyric..."I need you, i need you i need you ...i need you to know, I'm alright" :D -She's the Prettiest Girl at the party and she can prove it with a solid right hook (Thanks Frank!)

Best to all of you!