I posted something more in the comments to that last post. Just read this, then go there.
msunevershouldeverknow's blog
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MY BLOG
Wednesday April 06, 2016
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...
Eh, hey guys!
I haven't been coming on lately, wasn't even going to post neither (haha either I mean, of course).
I..ok, well I am technically speaking, a grown up, but I still feel young at heart most of the time (which is good. I really believe this! And that thoughtkeeps me young too!) Anyway, I have been doing some growing up...or been forced to grow up some this week. It's painful! I really do feel like a teenager some days! So like I get it!
why do we have to grow up? Well...well, I guess it is to help our next generation. Well, honestly, it's just the way life works, but " we xan live forever if you've got the time". Hehe getting a little off focus here, but well, I missed this kidding around about MCR. It truly is sad how soooo many people don't get MCR!! I mean, my peers! And my elders too. It's...well, isn't there some saying that what we find important that others don't, well when we find those people that do share this with us we become even stronger?
omg! "When im here no longer you can be stronger and if I" (was that right? Oh man! What a lovely song! I just keep loving it more) and I keep loving you all more!!!
Keep running Killjoys! Never let them take (oh I can't even finish this without tearing up :P)
Never let them take the light behind your eyes!
Peace and Love!
Saturday March 19, 2016
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...
I feel like I just have to say SOMETHING. It's been a week since my last post (a new record of consecutive not posting days). It's true that I am dedicating most of my time to the forums, talk and to the end, and even INO sometimes too, but I don't want you guys to think I forget about you. You here mean a lot to me. And especially the "newbies" that helped me when I was having that initial burst of excitement for this band (it's still my favorite band and I still listen mostly to it and/or talk about it, well...every day but...it's died down a little.)
Um, what else can I say? Come join the forums guys! Especially the up and coming one To The End. It's sortof the place for us "newbies", for us to reignite the passion that started 15 years ago (with the formation of the band).
I don't know what else to say so maybe I'll end this with some Pencey Prep, mmmm the part in my head has no words. Should I describe what it means to me??? Oh ok, the track changed (yes, still in my head). I can quote this one though...
"why are you so far away. even when you're standing next to me. Your eyes give you away, telling secrets when your mouth don't feel like talkin'"
-ahhh and that last sentence kinda is how I show my enthusiasm for the wordless music. :D
"and I'll be your Lloyd Dobbler with a boombox out in the street. AND I'LL BE THERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE, EVEN IF HE ISN'T ME"-is this not the sweetest most selfless thing someone could ever say??? Can I just say thanks to my old "Lloyd Dobbler"? Wish you well my old friend! lol You taught me to love mustard! lmao
Good night and good day all!
<3
Friday March 11, 2016
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...
I forgot to say this in my newest post!! Well, I DID talk to someone IRL and of course, they didn't remember this event and all this person could tell me was "we all make mistakes when we're young, and you've gotta forgive yourself". Good advice, but I already knew that. I guess I was looking for someone to feel sorry for what I went through BUT...my thing doesn't even compare to what some folks go through, and I realize I'm being childish. Talking over things has been great, but I don't need to be looking for pity also. I survived! And learned from it! So, I should just be thankful. :) Sometimes it just takes awhile to realize these things, but that's what I had to realize.
<3
Friday March 11, 2016
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...
Wow! Are folks coming back here cuz of the upcoming anniversary??? Just curious. It seems a little busy here for a Friday night. (i do see many are getting ready for Spring Break though too).
Anyway, just a little update. Doing better today. Got a dose of reality and I'm just gonna have to let this one go (if you've been following my posts, you'll know what the hell I'm talking about. I don't want to bring it up again cuz I'm just trying to forget.) Uhhhh,
shoot! don't you hate it when you forget what you were going to say???...
hmm, well, thanks Deadboy, for that new video! Kindof skimmed through it. (honestly, right now, I need a little break from these, but it's always exciting to see new videos popping up!!! especially these earlier ones ('04 is still early)!!
I really can't remember anymore. Ohhhh yeah, was just going to bellyache how I spent like half the day in bed . finally got up to cook at around 3 or 4pm. after eating, guess who went back to bed? Not to sleep though. (this is very odd behavior for me...but I think it's out of my system. I think I just said f' it! and I took my day of "mourning". Somehow, I got going again though and even got to talk and brag a little more about the Rmy!! :) You guys are great! (but we already know this ;))
Well,...just wishing everyone the best! Have a good night or day!
<3
Thursday March 10, 2016
| Posted by: msunevershoulde...
Thanks to those who responded to my last blog. If you haven't read it, you still can. but I wanted to make a new one with some new information...well, I'm kindof winging it as I get my thoughts together here, so bare with me plz.
I have something I want to get off my chest. I want to tell someone here that might actually know how to help me with this (here as in real life). I waited many years because I did something that, while you folks might not judge me, others here would have...I'm not so much afraid of this now, but it's the fact that I don't think anyone will be able to help or even remember this thing or why I acted so peculiar that day.
And my questions all kindof go back to that day or those 2 days and like what exactly happened. when did they happen exactly? (I'd buried this for so long, it's getting a blur) Me and "this person" seem to be the only ones who know about what happened those nights and I couldn't get straight answers with this person...and even what I did get, was somewhat differing accounts of it! I still think this person was wrong in some things, but could've been right in other things that I forgot. I wanna stop and say something to the Rmy but...I think it's just my biased opinion and it might not do any good to share, so I won't...for now anyway.
What else?...I think I will just be pushing aside any worries. I think I know what I need to do to stop worrying (nothing harmful, i assure you) although I do have doubts about some of my other methods of moving on...not physically harmful, probably not even mentally harmful...but I just don't know. that's where I wish I had an answer...although maybe it's simply an answer of just being patient.
Ok, so the other weird thing about last night is that, "this person" and I talked about this person's friend and I was trying to recall the last name...couldn't get it....but last night, THAT FB account popped up!!! like, seriously, what are the odds!! (I mean, yeah, I've been blind before, but i swear, why couldn't i find this when I actually could...well, it possibly might not have made a difference really. I guess i was just wracking my brains trying to remember and it could've given me some ease. ah well!)
In other news, it's freezing again so maybe that's why I don't feel so sad. The warmer weather was bringing back some memories, which sucks though, because I like that weather!!!
Anyhoo! I'm gonna stop this now so I can get me some water. lol Nice, refreshing (freezing) water! ;)
Hope you all are doing well!
Peace!
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