That was awful.
I wish I was able to put a book down after I start reading it. But I always want to know how the story ends.
Ever is the Queen of the Mary Sues.
Damen is not Edward Cullen no matter how hard Alyson Noel tries to make him seem like it. And 'Evermore' is not Twilight.
Here is a handy dandy list of various 'I wish I was Stephenie Meyer' moments, by Alyson Noel.
1)"Damen drives fast. Really fast.", Guh. Drives like a Cullen, does he?
2) She notices Damen doesn't eat, just seems to move his food around.
3) "...and other times he sounds like he just walked out of the pages of 'Wuthering Heights'." I'm sure Bella says something like that about Edward and 'Wuthering Heights' is her favorite book.
4)And she can't read his thoughts, just like Edward can't read Bella's. Image
5) The way she obsesses over him just makes me think of Bella's infatuation with Edward.
6) And there is a "Beautiful meadow". Yes, a meadow. Not a clearing, not a glade or a dale... but a meadow.
7) The fact that he's in her room being all creepy while she sleeps.
...And Damen said something about sucking at baseball and I was like "Twilight joke?"
Hard to say.
Something that really annoyed me (Perhaps I am just pedantic?) was that she changes the dog's gender at the start of the book.
"...with Buttercup's head resting in Riley's lap, while his tail thumped softly against my leg..." then on the next page "...with Buttercup wagging her tail and leading the way."
And other stupid little things, like she didn't bother to re-read anything. Damen buys her a horse bit bracelet at the race track, and later it has suddenly morphed into a horse shoe bracelet.
And the name dropping?! WHY FOR?!
"She dangles the iPod between us so we can both hear Sid Vicious screaming about anarchy in the UK."
...Johnny Rotten was the singer from the Sex Pistols. Sid played bass. Research, please! I cannot stand the Sex Pistols and I know that.
How she imagines Orlando Bloom. (Although it's probably who I would think of first...)
Havens obsession with Marilyn Manson and Evanescence.
The label whoring, Converse, Juicy etc.
The mentioning of 'The Oprah Show', and The Dr. Phil Show'.
No one in the story seems to have a nice regular name, either. There are no Sarah's or Emma's. There is however, a 'Haven', 'Ever', 'Evangeline', 'Drina' 'Honor' and a 'Sabine'.
Furreals, Could just one of your character have a name someone has heard of?
I have read better fanfics written by GWay obsessed 15 year olds. Honestly, FAN-FICTION!