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I'M SO SORRY

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jn123450@yahoo.com's picture
on July 19, 2013 - 10:23am

I am so sorry to everyone on here that I talked to. I am so sorry that I completely just dropped off the planet. You totally deserve more than that. I cannot apologize enough. I am so, so sorry.
To one person in particular, you deserve an explanation more than anyone. I trust that you know who you are. The person I told everything to, and who told me everything. I wish, so much, that I could still talk to you but I literally can't. Someone found out about everything and so many things have gone on and I'm not allowed. I am so sorry.
But, before I go, I owe every single person on here a huge thank you. You have all guided me so much without meaning to, helped me without trying. Only now that it is being taken away do I realize how terribly dependent on all of you I was, especially since MCR broke up. For two beautiful months after my crap started, I had those four beautiful men who were just as messed up as me, even more so, tell me everything I needed to hear. When that was done, I turned to all of you and wouldn't be sitting here without you. Honestly.
Most of all, Izz. I owe you my life nine times over. You are so beautiful. Please, please, please, be strong. Stay in the bubble. I can't talk anymore, but I think of you so much, wish I could talk to you. I really do. I want so much to talk to you. I'm still rooting for you. You are still one of my all time favorite people, and deserve so much more than the shit you are given. I will be in your debt forever.
I cannot repay you for what you did no matter what I do. Please be strong and stay beautiful. You are one of the most beautiful people I've ever, ever, ever met or will ever have the extreme pleasure of meeting. You are so amazing. Please don't let anyone destroy what a beautiful person you are, and don't let anyone drive you to the point where you destroy yourself. It would be such a loss to the world if that light in you went out. The world needs that light, and you are one of the few who still have the real thing. The one you don't have to fake or put makeup on. Remember that what kills those who are mean to you most is seeing you happy.
I love you all so much and owe you everything I have. I cannot thank you or apologize to you enough.
-J