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My fucking Chioce

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Ari Woods's picture
on September 19, 2012 - 11:33am

Rant ahead proceed with extreme caution, copious amounts of swearing:

I'm a girl don't fucking think I'm gonna bubble-gum-pink wrap myself into plastic surgery and cheerily screech out some senseless boobjob song. I wanna fucking sing and write like MCR, Nirvana, Green Day, Queen, The Used, Iron Maiden, Misfits and all the fucking greats.

YES I know that the singers are all dudes well guess what I DON'T GIVE A FUCKING CLIT ABOUT THAT!! If I want to sing like a fucking dude then, I will. Fuck off and keep yourself plugged in to that plastic po(o)p industry generator. I've got the fucking balls to scream and slur like Gerard Arthur Mother Fucking Way and make all the weird faces too. I CAN belt out ST. Jimmy and I FUCKING LOVE IT! I DON'T give a fucking shit if I'm on the lame or losing side.

I'm so fucking tired of people telling me to write fucking love songs to prince cock sucking charming. I can't just up and write something I don't feel. I'm not gonna swallow a fucking bedazzler and bitch-write like the rest of the chits in music. I don't want to be THE DIVA I want the tittle "Frontman" so much more than anything. All the female singers you present to me are a carbon copy of each other and fucking wail like some R&B hack. Their lure point is a high pitched and breathy note of fucking lovely fluttering hearts. Keep it, the type of voice I'm after rips beating mussels out off the listener's chest while they're shivering from an eargasm.
I want to sing with the raw, unclean grit that reflects all the anger, pain and insanity that come out through my writing. You expect me to sing about being self-harm, murder, rotting corpses, nightmares and being subjugated to different forms of abuse in metaphor with a A-Grade stereotype bitch voice?
Never mind you wanting me to dress and act like that too, I want to walk around a parking lot in pjs and look like a fucking hobo because its who I fucking am. Fuck your mirco skirts and the push up bras. Know what to piss you the fuck off even more I'll bind my miserable A cup boobs and be flat chested. I wanna have spazz attacks on stage and get so sweaty my hair gets stringy and I have to mop it up with a fucking towel, FUCK YOUR glamorous little miss fucking perfect silicone mold image. To top it off I can't even spell glamorous, I had to use spell check. That's how fucking apposed to being "The girl in the band" I fucking hate spray tan on all ages you plastic chunk of drone. FUCK YOU and your SUCCESS!
You think I give a shit that everyone out there is gonna think of me as a cross-dresser? Fuck no! I'd sing "Well don't I look pretty in the best damn dress I own" like a guy, in every sense of the fucking word.
I know I'm female, that's beside the point. My boobs didn't sign my fate you ignorant fuck, the only time I take my pants off is to take a piss, shower and change. So I know that particular part of my anatomy didn't sign anything either. If I want to act like a dude I will, I'm fucking tired of being embarrassed every time I sing Destroya because a chick moan means she's a whore. If I want to loose my shit and have a meltdown/orgasm on a live show then I fucking will and I'll tell a fucking crowd I'm not wearing any underpants to go along with it. Fuck Gender stereo-bleeding-types, MCR you are my fucking HEROES! the nay-saying fuckers can go shove it

Fuck you very fucking much,
Ariana Mother Fucking Woods