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You don’t need to read it

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Dead Sleepwalker's picture
on January 23, 2019 - 5:39pm

Uhm, I hesitate to write something, but I’ve got no place to share my thoughts. Well, earlier I could talk to my family or my friend, but it turned out that some topics I want to talk about upset and irritate my family, and my only friend... oh, I think, she must loathe me, because I’m a terrible person. And she also reads my twitter, that’s why I can’t describe what I really feel there. Actually what do I feel? Do I even feel? Do I want to feel? No, I don’t. I don’t want to feel pain and hatred for myself. But that’s all I can really feel. I can’t be happy or cheerful for a long time, I’m always waiting for a trick. And more often there is a trick.
Family trip? Oh, your family is cracking, everyone hates each other. Living in your own apartment? Oh, poor, no one is there to care about you and get rid of a spider. Found a soulmate? All you can do is hurt your soulmate. Good student? No, you have to suffer, forget about food and about your bed, you’re too stupid to be good. That’s about me. I hate myself even for writing my thoughts, because no one needs it. And I'm still writing, because I’m so selfish and want to write it trying to feel better. Hope, I’ll feel better. Once.

But for those, who read it:
• Be strong
• Don’t let bad thoughts to take possession of your mind
• Be loved by yourself
• And thank you