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lostn'foundagain's picture
on March 3, 2016 - 10:48am

I'm trying not to cry right now...
I... you guys know the old bad habits I have? With blades... I relapsed not too long ago.. I've been trying not to since... but I did again this morning... I.. I had brought it to school with me, for some stupid goddamned reason... and I relapsed...
Afterwards, I found my love in the hallway. He knew I was upset, just not about what, until I showed him the blade... He held his hand out for it, so... I gave it to him... hesitantly, but I still gave it to him. We went to our separate classes, and I immediately wished I hadn't given it to him. I told him so over email. And we agreed that he'd give it back, so long as I got rid of it... with him right there... to make sure of it...
So.. after class... he walked with me to a secluded part of the hallway with a trashcan, and I kissed it goodbye, then threw it away...

I got rid of the worst chapter of my life(so far) today... The last remaining piece of Aaron, that blade that he gave me so I could continue with my self harming tendencies... I'm Finally rid of it. Thanks to my love... I can start healing....
I'm sorry to anyone who reads this... I wasn't strong enough on my own... and if it brought you down...
THINK OF KITTENS OH MY GOD THEY'RE SO CUTE.
I hope that worked to lift the mood.
Anyways, I hope you guys are having a great day and listening to great music <3