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a not entirely PG update

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hey guys
so just wanted to check in. school starts in 9 days, which sucks but is also good cause i've been really bored and lonely and isolating a lot.
I've been working on fixing a situation I got myself into. I don't think I've mentioned it here cause it's not completely PG. I have a lot of guys online that I give my kik to. A lot of them I send... let's just say... provocative pictures of myself. I have since I was 13 and for a long time it's been a way for me to feel beautiful and like I mattered and like people cared and like I had worth. But recently, I've realized that this isn't good for me. That this isn't healthy and that these people don't care about me, they're just saying whatever they need to say to see my body more. I have my friends, my MCR online friends, my family, all telling me I'm worth more. So why is it so hard to stop showing my body? I blocked one of the guys, but there's still two others that I'm involved with. It's really hard to block them, because what if I need that validation really bad again? Where else do I get it? I used to have a plan, that whenever I wanted to send nudes to a stranger, I'd send them to my boyfriend instead. But we broke up, and I'm not sure I'm ready for something like that with the person I like right now. I'm just a little overwhelmed by all of this.
In other non PG news, the girl I like and I took a kink quiz, to see what kinks we have in common and there's a lot! that made me very happy and excited to see what will happen.
Hope you all are doing well. When does school start for you guys? DId you hear Gee is selling his house? I haven't looked yet, but I heard you can see the inside!
27 days and 20 hours until my tattoo :)
xoxoZ