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my brother.

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neon heart's picture
on January 5, 2017 - 9:16am

So I know most of the time I talk about myself on this blog but today I decided to make it about my brother, this is because he has been worrying me so much lately and it's really sad what he went through and I sorta wanna raise awareness for it, if that makes sense? My brother has just been through so much and he's only 12 so it sucks and I just want to tell anyone on here who might be reading that you're not alone and also as I said I wanna raise awareness about these situations that are going on, maybe we can all help in one way or another.

My brother, as I said is 12 years old. He was diagnosed with autism. Which, for any of you who don't know what that means, it's a mental condition which is present from early childhood (we noticed at about the age of 4 because that was the time he started talking, and in English, which is our second language. Keep in mind our first language is Maltese and we'd talk to him in Maltese all the time, so we found this behaviour quite strange) it is characterized by great difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.

As I said, we noticed strange behaviour from a young age and immediately got help. There's this foundation in Malta called Inspire and we took him there and they educated him and really helped him. If you look at him, he looks like a "normal" boy (though I hate using that word, because I do feel like my brother is just like any other boy, but just has more social problems, if that makes sense?)

He was doing better and as I said, looked like a "normal" boy and acted like one. He didn't have trouble talking to anyone, and he was quite confident. At parties, he'd go out and dance and he's always had friends and all that. Until he changed schools about 4 years ago. He started stressing out more, because his school's learning technique is more advanced and their syllabus is of an older age and since he's autistic, he found this quite hard to deal with. Also, his school is quite far away from where we live so he goes there by van with other students in his school. And the bullying started.

Now, my brother has been taught by my mum at a young age to always be polite and kind and never to hurt anyone else and help people, just the way people should be. But unfortunately, not every boy's parents in this school raised them that way and so as I said, bullying started. It happened for a while, stopped, and then started again about a year later and it went on for about two years. There was a boy, smaller than him, who also has a mental condition, don't know what he has, though, who started saying very mean things to him. He'd call him dumb, made fun of our mother, and even pushed him, intentionally trying to hurt him.

My brother would come home crying and as I said, he had stress because he changed schools and so with the stress he'd have the bullying and it was very hard for him to deal with. My mum went telling the school and even talking to the boy's parents multiple times but she hardly ever found help. It has stopped now, but his autism has come out more ever since that happened. He's become very anxious and panicked all the time because of it.

For example, we were at a party 2 days ago, it was my cousin's birthday party and we had to come in all black and they gave us clothing to wear on top of it because it was 70's themed and he didn't want to wear it, so then we told him that it's okay and that if he didn't feel comfortable wearing them, he didn't have to feel the need to. He still wouldn't come, he sat on a chair in the corner, crying. I asked him why, and after a lot of tears, he said that he was scared of being judged and that everyone would look at him because he was different, because he wasn't dressed up 70's themed. It took a while to convince him to come and make friends, and whilst I was trying to convince him, I noticed he was fidgeting with his hands and he nearly started hitting himself, which obviously was concerning me a lot.

Yesterday, my grandma and grandpa came home and after he ate his food, he started jumping around in the kitchen and would not sit down. He started kissing us all on the cheeks, hugging us, running around and laughing for no reason at all. This was similar behaviour to when he was younger and he was doing this because he was very happy to see that my grandparents were there and that we were all having a good time. I found that adorable, of course, and he'd do this because obviously autism is not something you can remove so he still does certain things that he did as a little boy. Also this summer I noticed him rocking back and forth plenty of times.

We're now going to take him to a psychiatrist and see if we can help him with his anxiety. Also, I don't know if you guys saw but there was a fidgeting cube which was invented to help stress and anxiety, do you think it helps? Because if so, we really want to buy him one and help him. I love him a lot, and though I can be very awful towards him a lot because I am his sibling after all, and all siblings are horrible towards each other sometimes, I do care about him a lot, and I never want to see him hurt, like I have seen him for the past couple of years.

I really want to try to stop bullying so if you ever see someone getting hurt because of someone else, please try to stop them. It sucks that a lot of kids like my brother have to go through this daily, and I really want to help. Thank you for reading, stay strong, hope you have/had a good day and keep running, killjoys x