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it's been a while. I graduated. Now i'm a bit lost. Help? Also: we technically don't exist.

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I guess I feel empty more than anything? Like the whole time with my last school assembly, mass, and then graduation dinner, I didn't know how to feel. I recieved a cetificate of general excellence though! And a neat little medal. They award these certificates for "outstanding service and all-round controibution to college life" which was really nice. There was a sit down dinner and dancing and it was a really lovely night to end my time in high school. I promise I'm not that much of a freak, but I actually really enjoyed high school. I wasn't really bullied, I had some people to hang with, and I just relished in having somewhere to go, something to do, every single day without me having to make too many huge decisions or take responsiblity for myself. I saw my friends every single day. Pretty ideal situation. Now it's gone, and I know I'm going to miss it. I don't want to stress about what I'm doing every day, lose touch with friends, motivate myself. I have no motivation and sort of feel like curling up into a ball for a long time all the time..

Problem now is that I've got all my major exams to do. That being said, I've been accepted in to a university (Notre Dame) already, which is a relief. But I cannot stop procrastinating, and it's getting really bad :/ It's like my brain constantly wants to change what it's doing every 5-10 minutes.

Space is infinite. Like never ending. It just expands and expands and gets bigger and bigger and never ever stops. I N F I N I T E. So, what about us? How big are we really compared to something that is infintely big? Are we infinitely small? Do we exist at all? I took these questions to my friend who is really into space, and is a total physics genius. She said I was right - we technically don't exist relative to the infinite size of the universe. We're just too small. How wild is that? Puts thing into perspective except not really, because there's nothing we can do about that reality lmao.

Think that's everything.
Hope everyone is doing okay!
Beni xx