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on January 27, 2016 - 7:25am

It's Blue ( Kevin)

I was Recently Discharged from the Psych Ward; And I'm Now Back Home, I'm Doing a lot better, though; I had gone to my dad's House and had spent the weekend with him ( Parent's are divorced); So after that, I went to My Brother's and His ( Fiance's) House, and got home way to late. It took me over 2 Hours to get home, when usually it takes 30 minutes.

I was really lost, confused; and scared.

So I got home and told my mom; I think I'm having an Anxiety Attack, and I'm getting a little paranoid and Having Hallucinations of demons telling me to hurt myself.

So I went to the Ward. Last Week on a Saturday or Sunday or something?

My Potasium ( Spelling??) was really low, Related to my Blood Pressure Pills.

But I have lost a lot of weight; I'm down to 230 from atleast 240 at the highest.

I don't really know what All happened in the Ward though. Just A buch of Groups and stuff.

I never had a Room Mate Either...

I had the whole Room to myself. However I was on Unit 2. Which is The Alcohol/Narcotic's Unit. 1 Unit Away from Unit 1. Visitation/ Discharge. so if I tried hard enough I could have escaped.

But I'm a Good Kid; And I followed all the bullshit rules, and respected everyone.

I swear I saw some one that looks just like an Uncle of mine but I couldn't have been him...

Then I swear I also saw My Ex ( Tiffany) there, She had "Emo Hair" and was beautiful just the way; I imagined she would look now. ( she's a year and a Day older than me) And I was just like, Oh hey Babe what's up???

And she's like oh hey Kevin.

( then I'm just like??!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!? WTF?? could it really be her) she recognized me and I recognized her.

And I was just so Stoked that I thought it was her.....

God I miss her so much.

I still think about her to this day, and It tears me apart knowing that the monster I became was really in my head; which is what pushed her away from me.

And now knowing that I did that; I cry sometimes at the thought of knowing I failed.