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Dreaming of Love

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What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
Would you still tell me
you loved me?

Now what if I told you
I loved you?
Would you believe me,
or spit my words
back in my face?

A venomous python
spits
hisses
strikes
out at people conceived
as threats.

You are not so,
for you don’t
spit
hiss
or strike
out at me
not yet, anyways…

What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
would you still tell me
you loved me?

What if love is
some illusion?
a dreamland for those dreamers
whose eyes can not see,
but whose hearts feel so…

Am I blind?
Is my heart filled
with such warmth as that
of a dreamers?
I daresay,
it is not…

My heart knows no
thing such as
love
warmth
nor dreams.
they were snuffed out
long, long ago.

What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
would you still tell me
you loved me?
— Jade Trisdale 2-9-16 1:38pm

I'm really proud of this poem, so please don't use it w/o my permission.
I haven't really posted anything about my life in a while. I'm still alive, my love and I are happy together. Our relationship feels like it's getting stronger the longer we're together. I don't know if I told you guys about quitting the Spring Play, but that's left a lot of time on my hands which I fill with Tumblr. I'm not doing so well in school, and I keep having depressive episodes, but ah well. I get over that crap. I've gained weight!! I'm no longer under 100lbs! It's a little scary for me though... I got used to seeing myself being so thin, now I see myself, and.. idk, it's weird and uncomfortable and sometimes I want to scream and return to how I was... but no, that's not healthy.. I haven't been writing much, and when I do, it's either about my love, or it's about hating myself. I should try writing more happy stuff... I'll try later.
Uhm, back on the topic of my love... Is it weird that I want to marry this guy...? I feel like I'm so young, I shouldn't be thinking about this possibility? I'm not sure what to think of life at this point... Should I be making choices that could possibly influence me for the rest of my life...? Should I be thinking about, maybe even planning, who/what I want to spend the rest of my life with/doing...? I'm 16... I feel like I'm trying to grow up too fast, but I refuse to stop... Idk, I'm having some weird thoughts right now. I'm scared to grow up.. That's what inspired the above poem. I'm scared to grow up, scared to acknowledge that love could or could not be real...
Anyways, I hope everyone is having a great day and listening to great music.