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BlueRoses's picture
on February 27, 2018 - 12:21pm

Mum called yesterday because no matter how hard i try to pretend that everything fine, even when theres a whole motorway and half the New Forest between us, she can still tell when something is up.
And somethings really up.
I'm so stressed with uni that I've managed to really bad relapse again, to the point where even telling my friends how i feel is petrifying. I just sit on my bed in the dark trying to write up my dissertation, trying to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do with he rest of my life, and every time I turn my phone on one of my friends is asking me to go out for drinks with them, asking me to go to some club, trying to get me to go out and take drugs with them, and the self destructive part of me, the part that tells me not to eat and tells me to smoke when I'm feeling a bit sad, that part of me jumps for joy whenever anyone gives me the opportunity to do something stupid.
The other part of me, the other part of me is petrified.