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Reading The Umbrella Academy's again. Spent the middle of the day stupidly getting fucked up with a friend. Yes that's right. I can tell when I'm being stupid. (Acknowledging the problem is halfway to solving it after all ;) ) In other news I've been obsessing over all the band t-shirts I wish to buy, plus a certain x-men comic, and stuff. The internet is like the Mirror Of Erised for those of you who get the reference. Probably all of you. But if you don't know Harry Potter note: 'Erised' is 'desire' spelt backwards ;) there's a hint xD

[x] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[ ] had sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[ ] watched porn
[ ] bought porn
[ ] tried drugs
TOTAL SO FAR: 5

[x] taken painkillers
[ ] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[x] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die
TOTAL SO FAR: 12

[x] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[ ] been in an accident
[ ] been to a club
[x] been to a bar
TOTAL SO FAR: 18

[ ] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[ ] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night

[ ] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[ ] had sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[ ] watched porn
[ ] bought porn
[ ] tried drugs
TOTAL SO FAR: 4

[x] taken painkillers
[ ] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[x] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] wished someone to die
[x] seen someone die
TOTAL SO FAR: 13

[ ] missed curfew
[ ] stayed out all night
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[ ] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[ ] been in an accident
[x] been to a club
[x] been to a bar
TOTAL SO FAR: 17

[ ] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[ ] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night

Well, one year ago, my boyfriend and I broked up.
And i still love him and it hurts so much when I see him, because I know he hates me. He said this to his friends very often and that hurts so much! I think it's silly that I'm still in love with him and I don't want that anymore, because I get sick of that. He just don't get out of my head and the only thing I want is to forget him, but I just can't and thats fucking annoying! I don't know if you guys can help me, but pleeeaase do you know anything that could help? This would mean so much so me <3

xo Johanna

I cant seem to get away from all the negativity around me. I have a tendency to absorb those feelings yet everyone says im the pessimist and the screw up and the failure. Im looking for jobs but yet im called a loser because i havent got one yet and im 16. Im supposed to find an apartment soon so i wont be a bum. But hopefully ill be able to do joint rent with my closest. Im been driven up the wall because to my family im the loser and they arent there to see what im REALLY trying to do. So since they feel im not going to be able to make it in the world alive and always be a failure, i wonder how theyd feel if i joined the Air Force and later returned as a dead failure... im tired of existence altogether at this point. And yet they blame it on the music i love. Theyre quite wrong. Very wrong.

Happy 11th HITMAN10k

Hey guys

As I've been recording my album I've found that I'm a producer then a musician and I know that I'm a decent rhythm guitarist and bassist but I really do have an ear for producing. Anyways I really do try to do something with my day after I post my morning blogs and most of the time I just sit around my house but I do try. Lastly I really hope that I can get together with my friends and jam. That's all I have on my mind.

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day.