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We hit the edge and we took a leap
And now things have fallen apart so damn fast
Because it takes only seconds to destroy
What time built up to make
And so we eroded away
And we ground ourselves up tight
And labeled ourselves stupid,
And all the while my skin melted off
And your smile began to fade
And my eyes began to glaze over
But that doesn't matter
It was the fact that we were lying to ourselves

So here's one for my empty chest
The bones white and closely knit
To take the place of what you stole,
Because I don't think you'll give it back
Here's to the nights I wasted away just for you
Because they were all for nothing
Even the nights that I saved you,
Or so you say,
Because I really just fuck up everything.
Here's to dates you broke
And lies we told
And the "I'm fine"s and "Talk to me"s...

...I miss you,
But I'm glad we saw an end
Because we would have gone on forever otherwise
So now it's time my skeletal heart and I take a bow

i'm tired of trying so hard to be good. no one appreciates a good girl. i started cutting class a lot, mostly my history class and on friday i missed a new project we have and i need a group. i hate going to class because i'm so depressed right now that i can't focus and i get so angry. but i don't want to fail so i must go to class now. UGH. i fucking hate being a good girl, i get overlooked all the time. my mom doesn't even bother checking my report card anymore since i always get good grades. sometimes i just want to drink so much alcohol and get wasted and just give up. ( i've never actually drunk alcohol before). i want to just self destruct. i feel like making myself throw up because i'm utterly disgusted with my body. i just fucking hate everything about me. i have such short hair and i wish it was longer so i could hide my face. i have serious daddy issues and it's tearing me apart. i just want this to be over already.

I'm actually pretty happy today, which is kinda a rare thing. It might just be that I'm high on cold meds, cuz I'm getting sick AGAIN. XD
I got a haircut, which I haven't gotten for almost a year and a half now... It always seems to make life a little cheerier, maybe it's just less weight on my head. The gay... philipenian? Philipeno? Whatever. My gay hair dresser from the Philippines, who is fabulous btw, did a great job. I actually let him curl it, and I never curl my hair. It's naturally bone straight, plus i have horrible memories of standing in front of a mirror for hours while my mom attempted to curl it, using anything from sleeping in curlers to curling irons. So i kinda don't know what it looks like straight... oh well!

My dad's on a business trip for the next week, which won't make a difference because he is never around anyway.

I'm going out with friends next friday, which is really rare. It's been over two months.

so last night I had a dream that started out as a kayak race on a river with my old buddy Alex, then it turned into a woodsball paintball game in my old neighborhood with my two old friends Matt and Brendon, then out of no where's it turns into a tornado and i get swept up and thrown 11 miles from my home. but the weirdest thing is when I woke up it was 3:00 AM and storming.

First of all, I hate my subconcious. I had a dream last night that me and my ex were back together. And I just had to wake up. >_> And the fact that I'm still not over him in the first place is bugging me.

On a happier note... the Ramones kick ass. ^_^ I kind of have a thing for the song Havana Affair.

"Baby baby make me loco, baby baby make me mambo!" <3

xoxo Electric Rose

These guys are new and I think they're pretty good.
Idk, not enough meaning. Like there's not enough message. idk.
-Desert Angel

I wrote this song for Lola the mule. If you aw my earlier blog you know why.

Watching you slip away
Day by day
Calling out for you
The pain I can't see through
You're gone
Slipped between the cracks
And you won't come back
And these tears don't change a thing
Nor do the words I sing
You're gone now
I don't know how
But you said goodbye
Leaving me to cry
Nothing's gonna bring you back
Your world went black
They gave up on you
You gave up on us
Because they broke your trust
And these tears don't change a thing
Nor do the words I sing
You're gone now
I don't know how
But you said goodbye
Leaving me to cry
So much pain in your heart
They ripped you apart
You couldn't come back
You didn't hear my pleas
I'd help you through the fears
But now all there are is tears
In your place
I miss your face
But these tears don't change a thing
Nor do the words I sing
You're gone now
I don't know how
But you said goodbye
Leaving me to cry
You're gone