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I don't know if I should be excited because the weekend's here or bummed because it isn't really mine. Usually, I take the weekend to relax. Unfortunately, I have to work 6 am - 2 pm tomorrow and 7 am - 3 pm Sunday. So, it's not really much different from a school day except I don't have classes or homework. Except I do have homework; I have to work on a Spanish project that's due Tuesday and a short English paper due Monday. Sometimes I just wish I could take a TRUE break. By a true break, I mean one where I don't have work, school, or any work to look forward to.

Back on the work note, I can't really complain about my hours. I mean, I applied for the job. I have to work the hours so I can get the money.

That reminds me; according to the UPS tracking information, my "Look Alive, Sunshine!" tee should be in when I get home! YAY! Also, my music suspenders came in yesterday. Oh, the possibilities!

S.C.R.E.A.M! My next idea for a band name! Sarcasm Can Really Enlighten A Man. Im sure theres a lot wrong with that but im 100% ok with it. Ive had to trash my last idea, as great as i feel it was, it just cant be done for now, so in my closet with the rest of my trashed ideas it goes. and this isnt just my idea. my friend is the one that said (Quoting) "Find a word that you do a lot and make an acronym out of it." HAHAHAHA!!! So yea, ive dropped the homecoming writings and im starting fresh. I have a lot more heavy ideas in mind. More Grungy, louder, faster, kinda music. Not as much ballad like music. And of course screaming. (But on another flipped side, if this is a bad idea, im bringing homecoming back out and thinking for the band name after and MCR album. MANY VIRTUAL HUGS FOR WHOEVER CAN GUESS THE ALBUM IM NAMING IT AFTER!!!)

do you know those pple who pretend they know the whole backstory behind mcr and what there all about? what about the people who say mcr promotes suicide instead of life? we have a name for them............HATERS!!!!!!!!! FEEL FREE TO VENT ABOUT THEM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

this gets me to that area of my mind i never want to be in.... it makes me think...

why can't i be normal and just watch a movie like everyone else? :(

Guys, Not gonna lie I not doing good. I feel hopeless in life and I feel alone. All my friends literally don't give a rats ass for me anymore they all have a new group to be around. No one has the time to even ask if i'm okay, and that hurts. Lately I've been outta it falling back into my deep depression. The depression I had going into high school. Now that i'm out its returning. Yeah people can think "she's 18 and complaining about her life still" yes, yes I am. My life has been filled with loneliness and it sucks. The only good thing that has come outta this is I have more time for drawing. I'm thinking of posting some but does anyone really wanna see it? Any ways if your in high school and you think it sucks push that aside because it is true when people say that it's the best time of your life. I am graduated trying to a tattoo apprenticeship and it's taking longer then I had hoped. Which leaves more time to think which isn't good.

My best friend and I haven't talked in a long time...and we're drifting. Even though I miss him, I kind of expected it. He's a bit older than I am, has a girlfriend, is in college, and he's just growing out of me. It'll be easier for both of us if he just forgets me, because I'm not sure where I'm going this summer. Best case scenario he'll never know I'm gone and he'll be able to live a happy life with this girl (he's going to marry her once they're both out of school). He wont give me a stray thought, and for his sake I don't want him to. Not ever again. I'm gonna make the best out of whats left of this year. I don't want any sad emails to make me regret my decisions.