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Well, one year ago, my boyfriend and I broked up.
And i still love him and it hurts so much when I see him, because I know he hates me. He said this to his friends very often and that hurts so much! I think it's silly that I'm still in love with him and I don't want that anymore, because I get sick of that. He just don't get out of my head and the only thing I want is to forget him, but I just can't and thats fucking annoying! I don't know if you guys can help me, but pleeeaase do you know anything that could help? This would mean so much so me <3

xo Johanna

I cant seem to get away from all the negativity around me. I have a tendency to absorb those feelings yet everyone says im the pessimist and the screw up and the failure. Im looking for jobs but yet im called a loser because i havent got one yet and im 16. Im supposed to find an apartment soon so i wont be a bum. But hopefully ill be able to do joint rent with my closest. Im been driven up the wall because to my family im the loser and they arent there to see what im REALLY trying to do. So since they feel im not going to be able to make it in the world alive and always be a failure, i wonder how theyd feel if i joined the Air Force and later returned as a dead failure... im tired of existence altogether at this point. And yet they blame it on the music i love. Theyre quite wrong. Very wrong.

Happy 11th HITMAN10k

Hey guys

As I've been recording my album I've found that I'm a producer then a musician and I know that I'm a decent rhythm guitarist and bassist but I really do have an ear for producing. Anyways I really do try to do something with my day after I post my morning blogs and most of the time I just sit around my house but I do try. Lastly I really hope that I can get together with my friends and jam. That's all I have on my mind.

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day.

Morning everyone

Well my work schedule is changing again but this time it's going back to what it was before witch is good cause I can get a little more sleep and speaking of sleep there's been a few nights where I just could not get to sleep. Anyways I feel like my routine mixes itself up enough to where it doesn't feel like a rut but there will be times where it does. I think any routine can feel like a rut from time to time but that's normal. In album news cause my work schedule is changing again the times I'm in the studio are changing, I just have to wait an extra week before I go back in. Lastly I kinda feel like most of the people that read my blog and or fallow me on twitter are from Europe and I find the really cool. That's all I have on my mind

Thanks for reading and enjoy this morning.
Fallow me on twitter @fefedarkboy13

Thankyou MCR.

Okay. So I'm sitting on the computer staring at the internet and I really don't know what to do and I'm walking in circles and talking really fast and kind of having a mini anxiety attack and this is one hell of a run-on sentence. But anyway. Mini anxiety attack. Now, I do get full anxiety attacks, but this one is more of an adrenaline rush with my senses going haywire and being overly sensitive to every little thing and I'm kind of freaking out but it's not the terror that comes with a normal anxiety attack and I should probably just lay down and watch Netflix on my iPod but since that's all I've been doing for a week its probably not the best idea and oh, look, another run-on sentence. Focus your brain, Edwards.

Well in the weeks since mcr split everything has gone to shit basically, i've lost everything, my friends, my family, the will to carry on, the will to wake up in a morning.. on the first night they broke up i drank, and drank, and drank some more.. it was stupid i know but it numbed the pain a little, little did i know how much the pain would progress, well first things first, my mum told me she wishes she never had me or my brother and we make her want to kill herself every day of her life, she's acting really cold towards me, particularly because i oppose to my sister bringing a child up into a religion that it is too young to understand and taking the human right of free will from said child. Which leads to my relapse, through growing to hate yourself the mind can manifest itself in different ways, for me lately its been scalding hot showers and sleeping pills and forcing myself to vomit out the contents of my stomach, But atleast i still have my friends, right?