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lostn'foundagain's picture

Ranting's of a confused suicidal.....

I've been on a fucking roller coaster of emotions this past week. I've been angry, sad, depressed, suicidal, happy, manic, etc, etc. Any emotion someone could feel has happened to me this week and i just can't take it!!! I'm sitting here in science trying not to cry because I just got hugged by Aaron!! There's just so much shit happening right now and my mom took away all my blades and i don't know what to do!!! I'm planning on dropping out of Highschool!! and my mom's tempted to just let me! I admit, I need structure in my life... I need rules.... But I don't WANT them! I don't know what the fuck I want right now!! I ran away last Tuesday, and now I still want to do it again,..... I don't want to be at my house... I don't want to be at this school! I just want to curl into a ball and disappear into NOTHING!!! Maybe I should go talk to my counselor right now... but IDK!! I'm so confused about what's going on in my life, that I don't know much of anything...

chpeverill-conti's picture

Memorized Look alive sunshine?

Just wrote out "Look Alive Sunshine" to the best of my ability from memory. My attempt:

Look alive sunshine, one o nine but the pigs won't quit. You're here with me, dr death defy. I'll be your proctor, your helicopter. Pumping out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you live. A system for the masses, empty metal for the master plan. Louder than god's revolver and twice as shiny. This one's for all you rock n rollers, all you crash queens and motorbabies. LISTEN UP the future is bulletproof, the aftermath is secondary. Killjoys! Make some noise!

How'd I do? Here's how AZ lyrics depicts it:

Killjoy_Wolfblade's picture


The day you can no loner trust walls, is the day the universe crumbles.

martinhardee's picture

Some pictures from Gee's SF Fillmore show

I went to the San Francisco show last night at the Fillmore, and it was wondrous.

Great energy from the crowd at this iconic venue that has hosted everyone from Jimi Hendrix to Green Day, and Gee totally lived up to it.

I've posted some f my pics on Tumblr...

Set list:

Show merch:

Some pictures:

Show poster (the Fillmore gives away free posters!):

Zankoku_sinner's picture

Quick update and stuff

Okay, so instead of something long-winded and philosophical/angsty like I would usually write, I'm just going to establish myself as still being a member of this lovely fanbase with some updates.

- I've been on a bit of a music binge recently. Shiny new albums I have blown my money on the past month include: New Life (Modern Day Escape), Scripted and Icon For Hire (Icon For Hire xD), Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge (guess :p), Save Rock and Roll (Fall Out Boy), 20th Century Masters: The Best of Aerosmith, as well as three individual songs: Centuries (Fall Out Boy), Under The Gun, and The Syndicate (Modern Day Escape). With hopefully more to come.

- I go to trucking school now. I'm not particularly excited about it, and I'm only really there because my mother is still obsessed with me driving, but at least it gives me an excuse to leave the house.

TenderHeart.Kitten's picture

Damn it All

Everything is just crashing down on me. My mom called me just to tell me that I'm failing a college class that I honestly hate and don't even want to be in as well as an online class that I have minimal time for. Her solution for all of this is to tell me that I'll get nowhere in life or to a senior college and that I should no longer hang out with friends and just study all the time. She doesn't know that I have been diagnosed, by a doctor, with depression and high anxiety and that my friends are my only release from these things. But I know that she'll insist on me just studying all the damn time, so I tried. I looked at an assignment for my online algebra class and just stared at it for a minute before I just broke. Note that this is after I left my best friend who is taking a nap, leaving her a text roughly explaining what happened. I feel like I've just become the most terrible person in the world because of that. I'm on the verge of tears and I just can't take it anymore.

LisaGW's picture

I'm not very happy about Gee's new european dates :/ :(

I hoped he will come to my country...

andrewuniverse's picture

To All The Cops

To All The Cops

Last year one of the hit movies was Frozen where the lead character Elsa felt the need to break the bondage of everything that remained frozen and out of alignment for so long and so she sang, "Let it go, let it go." There is much wisdom to the idea that it's better to be happy than right. So the concept is if you stay happy then you'll never notice injustice. So as a person with a conscience I'm faced with a dilemma. When I reflect on the whole of humanity I can see who the trouble makers are. And the real troublemakers are the ones who think they can police the world.

chpeverill-conti's picture


Just got back from the mall. I went with my friend, Alex, from band. He has an account on here too now, just hasn't posted yet. Anyways, it was a good time. But I was so anxious through all of it. I tend to get anxious from the mall or new people, but people don't get it that it's so embarrassing. When I'm anxious, I tend to get a tremor that I can't control. I bite my hands until I leave marks. I fidget. I hit myself. I wring my hands. I pull on other people. I scratch. I hit and scratch my back. It's pretty clear something's wrong. And the DUMBEST things trigger me. If I feel like something is taking too long and could be annoying the other person (things like getting a soda out of a machine). Saying something that's the wrong thing. Looking at someone. Feeling awkward. Everything.

lostn'foundagain's picture

Online Music Stations

Do you guys know of any free, online music stations that I can access at school? that play a good variety of music?

lostn'foundagain's picture

Self Destruct

I attempted to post a blog about what's been happening..... but my computer crashed and deleted it all.... I am just so done right now.... I want to curl in a ball and sleep for the rest of this godforsaken life i have been forced to live....

Killjoy_Wolfblade's picture


So like are there any anime fans here or am I the only one ;~;

Sofiehatesyou's picture

I'm back!

Hi everyone!

A lot of things have been going on in my life recently and i felt like i needed to take a break from the internet. One of the reasons i stopped posting here is because my parents found the site, and yeah.....

But should i keep posting? I don't know if i should.... Comment! <3

nobody_you_know's picture

To all the canadians; happy thanks giving! :D

I think thanks giving is actually Monday, but I know not everyone celebrates on the Monday. I had a lovely thanks giving dinner yesterday, my boyfriends family loved my cooking. I made a pumpkin pie, and dinner rolls that I made in class. :)
I have another dinner tomorrow, I made a pumpkin cheesecake to bring. :)

What are you thankful for? :)

hope you're having a lovely weekend. :)


mcrhannah's picture

heaven help us.

im like so obsessed with this song at the moment. its so amazing! it makes me cry as well i dont know why but it just means alot.

xxxxx hannah