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Can someone please help me

My boyfriend, most of my friends and my brother all self harm... even i do
I dont know what to do, my brother is gettting through it with help, all my friends are trying to get help and have booked appointments to see psyciatrist.. Also my boyfriend is getting help on the 14th. But im left. left with everyone pushing there pain on me. tonight me and my friend was having a convosation, she told me to not fake a smile so this is what i sent her:

In the past two days I've got about 5 hours sleep max, it's horrible, and college has been a drag. I've been fucked up at least 3 times these past 7 days or so, last Tuesday, 'cause I was having a rough week last week as well, my friend Michael suggested we go get high (don't lecture me I don't care.) during our lunch break, and I agreed after a while, so that was fun and then we were laughing pretty much all through art, and I drew an octopus and went home. I got told off 'cause I wasn't meant to draw an octopus. Then on Friday, fuccck. Where do I begin? It was terrible...Well it was amazing, but it was terrible for my health. My friend had this party and a load of us went, my (ex) boyfriend was meant to go, but he didn't due to the fact that everyone dislikes him at the moment. Anyway, the party was amazing, but I had a whole bottle of vodka, and there was a guy there who kept getting me high, like every 20 minutes or so, and I did a bong as well, that was fun.

okay, okay.
who's seen this?
im dying.
look at frankie at the end
ohmycas
guys
look
http://www.cleanvideosearch.com/media/action/yt/watch?videoId=eVTEIoh-4uA

Eyy I'm not that late this time! So cause I never post on here anymore I'm just going to do a little life update for all of you who care. I shall list now.
1) I'm dying my hair purple and I am very excited cause it's one of the only colors I haven't gone yet besides pink and yellow.
2) I sprained my wrist for the fourth time so...yay I get out of gym! (it hurt like a bitch)
3) I saw Bring Me the Horizon live a few weeks ago and it was beautiful and i got kicked in the face several times and I'm 84% sure I made eye contact with Matt and Oli
4) I'm getting my lip pierced soon and if I'm lucky I might get snake bites (I never thought I'd like them but they've grown on me)
5) I've made a plan to try to articulate my feelings more instead of bottling them up and blowing up at people at random cause I tend to do that.

So, people talk about poetry a lot. Some people hate it, some people love it. Personally, I do both. You see, poetry has this amazing way, when done well, of reaching into you and taking out the most personal parts of yourself.

Often, you won't want to look at them. Often, they will scare you. You have the power to change those scary, ugly things into something beautiful. Not "tragically beautiful," that thing people say when they talk about suicide notes, or self-harm scars. Those are not beautiful, they are sad. They are worth mourning the bits of self rejected by those unwilling to cope. And sometimes, those lucky sometimes, poetry will help you realize you are worth changing yourself for.

Looking at those parts, though, is dangerous. Acknowleging yourself, in all of your beauty and horror, in the awkward sylables that fall of your tongue as much as those eloquent words that dance as you say them, can be too much.

my girlfriend has officially moved to flordia... 16 hours away. today they move into the house and... i dont know... i love her and its not like the distance will make it any harder than it has been to see each other. i dont know. im just sad. like, things were just starting to look up for me and now... shes been ripped away from me, again.

on a brighter note, im watching supernatural and im in love with sam and dean. right now i hate cas but i know i'll love him later cuz ive seen later eppies and i love castiel in them. but hes a dick.

I'm lonely. Feel like I whine about life all the time, every time people talk to me it seems like I'm still whining about absolutely everything. I need to stop being so self absorbed.
Also, I feel lonely. not friend wise, but in terms of romance. I feel in love once. over a year ago! I wish there was someone near me who liked mcr and bands and was cute and i don't care if she's femme or butch or something in between i just wish i had a girlfriend. I want to feel loved. But the thing is, i don't want to look for a relationship because that never goes over well. I want someone to see me and think i'm cute, even when i think i'm ugly as shit. someone who can hold me when i'm sad, and i could do the same for them. I WISH that would happen. But I can always wish...
xoxo
-Z