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Morning everyone

Well I had a good weekend I mostly hung out at home with my step family. Anyways I've found that I don't need to make life complicated and that I don't always need to stick to my routine in the morning or whatever, In other news I'm really put a lot of work into my album but it doesn't seem as much as It did when I first started maybe it's because I'm not writing songs at this moment in time. Lastly I'm really waiting a little bit longer before I give you guys a releases time frame so my estimate isn't way off. That's all I have on my mind.

Thanks for reading and have an lovely day

In little feverent gasps I whisper prayers
And hope the snake will disappear soon
Because atop my chest it ate away at me
And no one helped as I writhed in agony
And screamed again and again.
It nibbles at the edges of my thoughts,
Slowly driving me mad with rage
As I toss and turn and plot and cry
And wish for a cure
Or a way to die
And to the skies I do shout out
"Itai, itai!"

-Chemical Insanity

*Itai (loosely) means in Japanese "It hurts"

I haven't posted anything here for a long time. Mostly because I haven't given myself any time to do anything. I guess I should start from the being. When I posted my last "blog" entry about the consequences of commiting suicide, I was seriously considering suicide as a final option for myself. I don't remember much of then. Everything was "grey" and I've tried so hard to push those memories away. In the end I found myself in the hospital. I had overdosed. In the last moment I remember, I thought I was going to die. It was one of those out of body experiances. I was laying in bed, and I was so tired. My eyes felt like a thousand pounds were weighing them down. Then I just remember black. Moving on a few months, school started again, and it was bad. I wouldn't show up for classes, I would stay home and cry and wish for death. Nothing got better like I was told it would. I was planning ways to kill myself nearly every night. I wrote suicide notes and hid knives and pills in my room.

I knew this would happen. So why do i let my self get caught up in things that i know will end in disaster?

Check out the new mashup i did using alot of my chemical romance's songs with the strokes
Hear and Download : https://soundcloud.com/carloscastellanos/the-romances-reptilia

Not. Well...Depends which way you look at it...But basically on Thursday I got fucking high as a kite, Friday I got drunk off my fucking face, and apparently said something along the lines of "Feet should be fucking treated like genitals and not fucking seen in public!" (Like seriously I say the best/oddest things sometimes...) Anyway, Saturday I was ill from the previous two days, and now it's Sunday and I've got a bloody drink in my hand again, despite saying I'd wait at least a week. *Sigh.* Gonna keep this one short, as no one wants to read, and I certainly don't want to write, a long blog.

This is my band's cover of Rock And Roll by The Runaways. The gig was back in April, i think and it went well considering we hadn't really rehearsed much. I thought i'd share it with you all. =) My band's name is Demolition Parade. We're an all girls band from Hastings, East Sussex in England and we really do want to inspire people. We're working on our own second original song at the moment and when i have footage, i'll post it to you. (Here's a hint of what to expect. I scream in the new song. I scream a lot.) Anyways, i hope you guys enjoy it. It was a fun gig.

Here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152779841410223

~ Laura xx