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dwi diyan — Mon, 20 May 2013 06:42:13 +0000

Itai Itai

Chemical_Insanity — Mon, 20 May 2013 05:23:58 +0000

In little feverent gasps I whisper prayers
And hope the snake will disappear soon
Because atop my chest it ate away at me
And no one helped as I writhed in agony
And screamed again and again.
It nibbles at the edges of my thoughts,
Slowly driving me mad with rage
As I toss and turn and plot and cry
And wish for a cure
Or a way to die
And to the skies I do shout out
"Itai, itai!"

-Chemical Insanity

*Itai (loosely) means in Japanese "It hurts"

Skeletal Hearts

Chemical_Insanity — Mon, 20 May 2013 05:13:19 +0000

We hit the edge and we took a leap
And now things have fallen apart so damn fast
Because it takes only seconds to destroy
What time built up to make
And so we eroded away
And we ground ourselves up tight
And labeled ourselves stupid,
And all the while my skin melted off
And your smile began to fade
And my eyes began to glaze over
But that doesn't matter
It was the fact that we were lying to ourselves

So here's one for my empty chest
The bones white and closely knit
To take the place of what you stole,
Because I don't think you'll give it back
Here's to the nights I wasted away just for you
Because they were all for nothing
Even the nights that I saved you,
Or so you say,
Because I really just fuck up everything.
Here's to dates you broke
And lies we told
And the "I'm fine"s and "Talk to me"s...

...I miss you,
But I'm glad we saw an end
Because we would have gone on forever otherwise
So now it's time my skeletal heart and I take a bow

Forever Ago.

M.F.Disaster — Mon, 20 May 2013 02:49:48 +0000

I haven't posted anything here for a long time. Mostly because I haven't given myself any time to do anything. I guess I should start from the being. When I posted my last "blog" entry about the consequences of commiting suicide, I was seriously considering suicide as a final option for myself. I don't remember much of then. Everything was "grey" and I've tried so hard to push those memories away. In the end I found myself in the hospital. I had overdosed. In the last moment I remember, I thought I was going to die. It was one of those out of body experiances. I was laying in bed, and I was so tired. My eyes felt like a thousand pounds were weighing them down. Then I just remember black. Moving on a few months, school started again, and it was bad. I wouldn't show up for classes, I would stay home and cry and wish for death. Nothing got better like I was told it would. I was planning ways to kill myself nearly every night. I wrote suicide notes and hid knives and pills in my room.

i don't even understand this anymore

Lafari — Mon, 20 May 2013 02:32:03 +0000

i'm tired of trying so hard to be good. no one appreciates a good girl. i started cutting class a lot, mostly my history class and on friday i missed a new project we have and i need a group. i hate going to class because i'm so depressed right now that i can't focus and i get so angry. but i don't want to fail so i must go to class now. UGH. i fucking hate being a good girl, i get overlooked all the time. my mom doesn't even bother checking my report card anymore since i always get good grades. sometimes i just want to drink so much alcohol and get wasted and just give up. ( i've never actually drunk alcohol before). i want to just self destruct. i feel like making myself throw up because i'm utterly disgusted with my body. i just fucking hate everything about me. i have such short hair and i wish it was longer so i could hide my face. i have serious daddy issues and it's tearing me apart. i just want this to be over already.

Why?

scgabby03 — Mon, 20 May 2013 01:34:34 +0000

I knew this would happen. So why do i let my self get caught up in things that i know will end in disaster?

LaLaLa

WordsHaveNoPower — Mon, 20 May 2013 00:34:16 +0000

I'm actually pretty happy today, which is kinda a rare thing. It might just be that I'm high on cold meds, cuz I'm getting sick AGAIN. XD
I got a haircut, which I haven't gotten for almost a year and a half now... It always seems to make life a little cheerier, maybe it's just less weight on my head. The gay... philipenian? Philipeno? Whatever. My gay hair dresser from the Philippines, who is fabulous btw, did a great job. I actually let him curl it, and I never curl my hair. It's naturally bone straight, plus i have horrible memories of standing in front of a mirror for hours while my mom attempted to curl it, using anything from sleeping in curlers to curling irons. So i kinda don't know what it looks like straight... oh well!

My dad's on a business trip for the next week, which won't make a difference because he is never around anyway.

I'm going out with friends next friday, which is really rare. It's been over two months.

The Romance's Reptilia [My Chemical Romance vs. The Strokes]

surfrattsurfer — Sun, 19 May 2013 23:17:26 +0000

Check out the new mashup i did using alot of my chemical romance's songs with the strokes
Hear and Download : https://soundcloud.com/carloscastellanos/the-romances-reptilia

dreams and melodies

BlueBurnsBlack — Sun, 19 May 2013 22:48:54 +0000

so last night I had a dream that started out as a kayak race on a river with my old buddy Alex, then it turned into a woodsball paintball game in my old neighborhood with my two old friends Matt and Brendon, then out of no where's it turns into a tornado and i get swept up and thrown 11 miles from my home. but the weirdest thing is when I woke up it was 3:00 AM and storming.

Well this weekend has been a success...

Vampire princess — Sun, 19 May 2013 21:46:28 +0000

Not. Well...Depends which way you look at it...But basically on Thursday I got fucking high as a kite, Friday I got drunk off my fucking face, and apparently said something along the lines of "Feet should be fucking treated like genitals and not fucking seen in public!" (Like seriously I say the best/oddest things sometimes...) Anyway, Saturday I was ill from the previous two days, and now it's Sunday and I've got a bloody drink in my hand again, despite saying I'd wait at least a week. *Sigh.* Gonna keep this one short, as no one wants to read, and I certainly don't want to write, a long blog.