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Ive been through a lot lately. I lost my bestfriend this month because her dad beat the hell out of her. The boy i thought i could trust with my life let me down, and a lot of other stuff i dont wanna mention.... but i really need someone. I rarely admit it when im upset. Ecspecialy when i need someone to see past my smile. One person really cheered me up on may 10th... and i dont even know his name. My second bestfriend, i fell in love with him. I thought he was perfect. but he just hurt me. But then.... i went to a concert and met the drummer for the band "The Conjuring" and he saw past the smile in two seconds. Only two people i know have been able to see past the smile. Caleb and the Drummer. I regret never learning his name. He helpped me through some of the darkness by simply saying, litteraly two seconds after we met, "Hey, i know this may be weird sounding, but if you need me, im here for you. I know we dont really know eachother, and thats fine.

-Your brother turns into a seaweed creature
-Your ribs drip black sparkles
-You've eaten so many stuffed mushrooms that you feel like YOU'RE the one that's stuffed, and your intestines are a ticking time bomb, waiting to spread your entrails throughout the room
-You get the sudden urge to build a small Japanese-style tower out of legos
-You close your eyes and all you can see are clothes
-You say 'fuck' several times around your mother, and she doesn't fucking care (really funny story haha...)
-Literally NONE of the stores you visit, be it on foot or online, have a decent selection of hoodies.
-You realize Walmart has the WORST selection of bathing suits
-People you thought you knew have turned against you.
-You realize how a raven is like a writing desk.
-You notice that, on average, it takes you two to three watches of a Disney movie to connect all of the dots in said Disney movie.
-You have Disney-ception

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website and is distressing for others. The band wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, so please try to concentrate on their message and music.]

3. No self harm posts
If you are feeling like you may harm yourself please contact someone who can help.

Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or twloha.com/find-help. You can also contact The Trevor Project at thetrevorproject.org or by calling their Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

Wow. I haven't been on since the breakup. So its been a pretty long time. The breakup really destroyed me. And I just started listening to MCR about 2 years ago. They were the first rock band I listened to. They got me into rock. They helped me through my thick and thin. The big brothers I never had. I swore I would never go to a rock concert until I went to there's first. Now I must break that promise, unless I want to be a rock concert virgin. I still don't understand why it happened. People told me "It's okay Gabriella. Really. You still have the music.". But they didn't understand. Its not the same. But, I now know that they will still be forever in my heart. They will STILL help me through my thick and thin. After the breakup I completely shut myself out of the MCR world. I stopped listening to them because it hurt to much. I couldn't bear it. I was angry and confused. its been so long since I've been on. Too long. But I will not say goodnight. I will not say goodbye.

this is it im a week from graduation and i cant believe its happening. its been a while since ive been on here and alot had happened i lost my dad in january and have been in a deep depression and the only thing that helps is this band, and now that they broke up i still listen to them but it will never be the same i hope the killjoy nation is doing well felt like saying hi love yall

A good friend of mine was released from the hospital yesterday after he gave himself alcohol poisoning. I tried to talk to him at school but he won't even look me in the eye. I don't know what happened but he is definitely something wrong that he doesn't want to talk to me about and I'm worried. He means a lot to me and I hope that I haven't lost him as my friend, but I can't even reach out to him. What should I do?

I'm losing it again. I can't stand the fake calm that settles in me before something big happens. That's what's happening now. My mum and her husband come home tomorrow and i now have the sudden urge to scrub the house down. It's not even that dirty but here i am fighting the urge to find the bleech and clean.
I'm so freaking confused!
This isn't right. I'm not even a tidy person! My room's a shit whole! I'm so freaking confused!