Trans FUCKING Am

I've learned a lot this past week, I learned my friend LeVar Burton is on Twitter, I learned how to tie three different nautical knots, I learned who William Beckett was, and I've learned how hard it is to find a rust-free 1979 Trans Am in California, near Los Angeles, that isn't brown, gold, manual, or being sold by a diehard Burt Reynolds buff.

But most importantly I've learned how awesome our fans are (which I secretly already knew) because of the amount of care people have taken to help me on my adventure, and sure, we haven't found it yet- but I'm gonna keep searching.

Lets talk about some of the things we've seen...

There's a great one on Ebay right now that was owned by David Carradine, and if you're going to want a Trans Am you're gonna want that one (Kung Fu Muthafucka!). But lets get real- I would be terrified to drive the thing for fear of so much as scratching the door on the curb. The thing's got 10,000 miles on it and I need something I don't have to drive like an old lady. It's also $mad chedda$ and my pockets don't run that deep- I got a baby on the way.

There's a white one here in LA, with blue interior, that has pictures of it near a beach I believe. It's ok but it doesn't have T-tops, and I think I saw this particular car tooling around Hollywood and thought to myself- "That's kinda whack". So that's out.

There are some on Craigslist but them shits are in bad shape if they aren't "Smokies" or "Goldies"

Another one on Ebay, also kinda whack, has a big pink stripe down the center, not that I can't repaint it but the wheels are too "X-treeeeeem" and the whole thing feels like Pimp My Ride at Automart. No offense to the owner.

A great Nocturne-Blue one about 320 miles north in a showroom I'm thinking of visiting, but I have a feeling if Bob and I drive 5+ hours to see this thing there's no way I'm going home without it and I don't know that it's "the one".

The one in the picture is a 1980 Turbo Trans Am, which is a model I am open to, because it has a Phoenix on the hood SPITTING FIRE (a later addition to the design I think), and I believe a smaller engine, which means I may not win any races but I also won't be getting simply 4mpg like the 1979 with that big-ass "big-block" engine. It also looks kinda tight and broadens my search a little. I saw this one on Jay Leno's Garage and the owner had posted it but the car has sadly been sold **note this was not Jay Leno's car. If it was, I would try and call him up and be like "Hey man we played your show- could you let this car go out of your hangar?!" By the way if Mr. Leno reads this me and Bob would love to tour said hangar...

So the search will continue...thanks for the help!
xo
g

Some of you, who have seen my twitter about wanting a 1979 Pontiac Trans Am, may be asking yourselves, "Is this for real?"

And my answer to you is one-hundred percent MFR ("Mad Fucking Real" for short).

Some of you may be asking, "Why?" , so I provided this photograph to answer your questions, and if you need further persuasion-

Quite simply, I need the vehicle for "research and exploration". I will be researching the high-voltage hydra known as the 9th dimension , I will be exploring the barriers of speed and time, the history of heavy-metal haircuts, and the 24-Hr rest-stop cappuccino.

I will be chasing the "electric-manticore", and unlocking the riddle of "Muscle Mystery" in this muscle-machine, and it will most likely occur in the desert.

Now that I've assuaged your curiosity, here's what I'm looking for, more or less, and some might think I'm picky, but I think you should be picky when looking for such an important piece of scientific equipment.

***What I want***
First and foremost, I want a good car. It doesn't have to be great, it doesn't need to have been kept in an airtight garage for 30 years, but I would prefer something that's not a piece of shit. I would like it to be in California, close to or within the greater Los Angeles area. I would also like "the fast engine" to show you how much I know about cars, though I have friends with vast automotive knowledge, and my father was a mechanic when I was a child. I want it to run, run well, and have no rust. Oh and it needs to be an automatic, as I can't drive stick (suprise!).

***Colors and specifics***
Exteriors (in order of awesome):
Silver, the color of steel, and the eye of the falcon.
Faded, slightly shitty, or semi-bombed out looking Nocturne Blue. This color looks great with some age.
Mad-Max Black.
Shitty bombed-out Red/Orange

Obviously I am looking for something with a bit of character but I will settle for better shape for a better car.

I am open to other things but I absolutely do not want Gold, Brown, or that frigging Smokey and The Bandit car- that shit is whack.

Interiors (again in "awesome order")
Red leather (combined with a silver exterior is an ideal car for me- like a fucking Mach-5 red-velvet cupcake with Terminator 2 frosting)
Black leather (of course)
Blue (cuz it's cool, but this limits what I can paint the exterior if I choose to do so)
Interior material is not as much a deal breaker as a bad color.

I've seen the "Anniversary Edition" '79 Trans and I like it but something about the silver leather interior rubs me weird. Looks like pudding, and a light color will only stain when I shit my pants as I tear-ass through scorched earth.

T-Tops a BIG plus.

All of this stuff I am semi-flexible on, as I just want a great car, but I think I will know the right one when I see it.

***Important***
No scams or hustles. I won't have cash on me, and I'm not important enough to kidnap, but if you've got the right car and the right "vibe" I can find us someone important enough to kidnap together- IN-THE-CAR-YOU-JUST-SOLD-ME. Like, for example, the Jonas Brothers. I have been on T.V. and I have access.

You bring the 'bird- I'm bringing "British Steel" by Judas Priest.

xo
g

PS- Thanks for everyone's help thus far- you guys are great. I will be looking in the twitter replies for leads.
***Update***
I have noticed that some people are wondering if I am having a mid-life crisis or asking why I am not buying a station wagon or something for a baby. Answers!
Firstly, I am only 31, so I have a bit of time before that whole "crisis" thing, and secondly- I've run the numbers on car safety and have come to the conclusion that this IS the car for the baby. This thing is a tank. Usually, when people get into accidents while driving a Trans Am they usually ask "How is the other guy?".
Trust me. I got this.