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It's March 22nd. A poem

It's March 22nd
Today's the day
That my chemical romance
Went away
It's March 22nd
Look away
Because the MCRmy is not okay
It's March 22nd
6 years have slipped away
But we will remember them
Gerard the princess
And Ray the cupcake killer too
Mikey the stoic
And Frank the craziest of the crew
But never Bob
Because Bob turned out to be a douche
It's March 22nd
And we know what to do
We know to drink juice when we're killing
Cause it's fucking delicious
Never let them take the light behind our eyes
Become the kids from yesterday
And never say so long
Or goodnight


mood sucks

Im so irritable all the timne i hate it. any noises piss me off. if i hit the wrong key tjhat pisses me off. trying to apply for a seccond job but companys make it so complex so thats annoying. just nothing feels ok right now . and im crying alllll the time . my mood is so all overthe place and i can feel that its hormonal . maybe i need my birth control adjusted. idk . maybe i should go somewhere just to change the sceneery and maybe hjelp my mood . i could go read in a starbucks or dd or something . im reading "the spirit catches you and you fall down" by anne fadimanl.


stuff has been happening but not a lot of stuff. I started my new job at the gap this week. Im saving up to get my own place. I want to get into school again because i want to get a move on with the social work stuff but right now im just trying to hold on and stay stable and out of treatment. safety and eating disorder behaviors are still an issue. but not as much as they were.

ghost mice

when i listen to ghost mice it makes me want to run far far away, but not so far i cant drive there.

Not too good

Why am I depressed all the time I'm so tiered of this. I'm not going to classes. I'm rarely hanging out with friends. Nothing is working. I feel like I'm watching myself give up.

school work and sad

I have school work to do
but it's 8:10AM so probably wont do it now.
last night i was sad. looked through high school yearbooks and that helped to a point.

heres some good tunes, attraction, and college nostalgia

havent been online in a while
im at massbay now
i miss salem state. not ssu in particular, but being in a dorm at a four year college taking 5 classes.
I miss feeling independent....
You all should listen to pigeon pit.
here's a list of songs you should check out because im sad.

something - pigeon pit
February - beach bunny
kick your lawyer in the face - days n daze
frin fran sauce - ella Fitzgerald and louie armstrong
jambi cafe - the uncluded

I really like this girl, A. shes in a doom metal band and really fucking perfect. Shes so cool and nice and i am so comfterble with her.

tiered blog

trying to study for spanish. new semester starts on tuesday. im falling asleep. it s so cold outside. been listening to a lot of ell fitzgerald and louie armstrong. im going to leave the library soon. cant study wen im this theird, maybe ill go to DD or something.
i miss a lot of things.
hung out with autn to day that was good. i got a sewing patern to make a nice set of painties and a little camisole. should be cute i like the fabric i chose.,
how ar eyou gus? the site had been quiet. im alsways scared it will get so quiet that theyll shut it down and that mnakes ma worried.
i applied top

he keeps coming back fuck me

I made an OkCupid because im lonely and want to try dating again.
I was scrolling through matches...
And fucking ACE was there.
I can't stop staring at his profile.
and the picture of him in his room,
that's the room where it happened
thats the room where i felt violated
i felt alone
i felt helpless
he made me feel like that a lot
like he didnt care about me or about how i felt. how vulnerable i felt with him
i dont want revenge
i just want closure
or for it never to have happened

havent been here in 4 evah

hey buckos
whats up
things are ok here in MA. been hospitalized twice in the past month but im ok-ish. withdrew from ssu as well. now im at massbay. taking a night spanish class for the winter intersession. next semester ill be taking many more classes! four i think...
im meant to be studying rn but cant focus.
happy 2019 everyone, the apocalypse isn't here like in DD... but we can bring it on haha!
anyways, hope yall are having a wonderful day.