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hey hey hey hey

What's up guys?
I haven't been on here in like 70 years whoops
The show went well
My girlfriend and I have been back together for a couple months
And yeah
Shits all good.

there isnt enough time in the world

23 days until my band's show
27 days until school starts again
1 month until summer theatre shows
I still have songs to learn
I still have school work to do
And we're still putting together costumes
Not to mention I'm going to be busy with driver's ed and on-roads for at least a week
I suck at time management.


Long story short, there's another girl who gets mistaken for being me /a lot/.
Like, a lot a lot. Virtually everyone but me has met her.
Anyway, I asked my brother, "does she really look that much like me?"
His response, "Yeah, I thought she was you! I mean the only difference is she's a little smaller."
Oh. Oop.
((I don't know man I've always been insecure but lately it's really fucking bad, and we got our yearbooks and I hate myself and now this person who looks like me is probably mad that people keep thinking she's me because I'm fat and no I hate myself wow okay))
((I am very sorry, too


I brought up leaving the band, and our bassist said he's not good at giving advice, but he thinks I should do what I want.
I don't want to leave, that's the thing.
I want the opposite.
I want to stop feeling excluded and insignificant.
Also, I don't know if I can have all the songs ready by the show, I have never even fucking heard a bunch of them.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave, but I feel like I'm running out of options.

august 24 is coming up quick

11 and a half weeks.
Shit man, that may seem like a lot of time, but it sure isn't. Especially since I'm going to be out of state (and away from my guitar) for a week. So I only really have 10 and a half weeks.
At band practice the other day, we ran the amps through the PA system to see how loud we can get our set up to go, and holy shit. I don't even like when people hear me play unamplified, this is going to be much louder than that.
Oh lord oh lord...

((I love what he's doing)) ((but it makes me feel especially guilty)(if that makes sense?))

Feels nice

The heart of band practice was nice.
The reality that we are doing a show, in front of people, in three months has finally hit full force. It's exciting, and nerve wracking.
Despite being the newest member, I really felt like part of the band today, which in the past year and a half has never really happened.
Also, the fact that our guitarist and bassist's father came musing and betting that people in the crowd will "shit themselves" was fantastic to hear.
We've added Last Caress by the Misfits (totally stoked) as well as Big City Nights by the Scorpions.
My friend (usually our drummer, but

Shit man

I am so fucking bummed and I don't know how to stop.
This shit has gotten so old. I wish it would stop.

ugh?!? baby dogs are causing a mid life crisis?

Meet my friend, Mellow Man. He's a five week old American Bull dog who makes my heart burn. He kept cuddling and making baby noises at me.
The feels are excruciating.

tips for guitarists (rhythm in particular)

Probably the most spoken of piece of advice - pick up bass as well. Seriously though, I play rhythm guitar so a lot of my parts are similar to the bass, just with chords, and by learning them on the bass and then playing them on guitar it makes everything so much easier. Maybe that's just me? But 10/10 would recommend
okay I am done here