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With Words I Thought I'd Never Speak...

I woke up this morning with a text from my friend. She had been saying that she was afraid it was going to happen and so was I. But I never.... I.... I have t even liked them for a year
And they're already leaving... Why?!
Why would you do this to us? People come to you and to this site for help and support because they like your music and they feel like they belong. People here might have problems... Including myself. We trust eachother, we are a family an you are our parents and now... What?

16.3.13 The Day I Felt.

It's a strange feeling. I feel.... Weird...
I know I'm just getting weaker but I feel strong.
I know what I'm getting myself into.
It was just there... Taunting me. Screaming at me "Do it! Do it!" and I did.
I didn't know there'd be that much. The white cream I put on it to help fade the marks just mixed with the blood and turned a creamy peach skin tone and the marks, so clearly seen.

What am I doing? I just needed to feel. Feel something. My body and mind was numb and now.... I'm starting to feel again.

00:19 Saturday 16th March 2013
The Day I Felt.


Does anyone else just have those moments that for a second you're just like , "Woah...Life..!"
It's been really weird , I've been getting them a lot and it's really distressing. It could happen anywhere , mostly when I think about love and relationships, like, I could be walking along an I'd just stop and I'd lose control of myself and Id just be neutral... Then my mind plummets into a deep stage of depression and I can't keep up with everything and people are crowding me and I feel like I'm going to drown under everything!
I've been going through a bit lately and I'm getting help from my

Sometimes crying is the only living way of dying...


Sometimes crying is the only living way of dying...


Help me!

Last night , I told a guy, One of friends. I'd say best friend but I'm afraid to because of his girlfriend but , I told him a reall deep personal secret that I have never told anyone else ever. It's not usually the thing you spread around and it's kinda embarrassing but I don't know, we were talking and the question just came up! I always thought the first person I would've told or would've found out would be one of my girl best friends. Not him. Not a guy. But it was him. And I would trust him with my life!

I owe you guys, an explanation.

Ok, a while back I put up a short entry called ''...'' and it basically consisted of ''...I can't breathe...''
So, a few people commented and asked if I was ok and I never explained what happened so here's the story.
It was a few days after my best friend's birthday and she was talking about having a sleepover that weekend. So, I was just sitting, watching Tv with my brother and I got a text from her and it was asking me whether I was able to go and it had all the details with it. I was in the middle of writing my reply when I receive another text saying ''Oh my god!

Happy at last :)

Hey. I haven't been on in... FOREVER!
The reason for that is , I usually post here when something is wrong or if I feel depressed or insane but, for the first time in a while, I'm happy! And this isn't just a phase where the world is full if rainbows and unicorns! I am genuinely happy! I feel kinda stupid though. A lot of my posts were about silly things and I read posts about people who've been through terrible things! I don't feel as if I am family here. I feel like an unwanted guest. People probably read my posts and probably go, "Ugh. She's so selfish!" or "She has no idea".
I hope you


...I can't breathe...

It's all becoming real.

She... It's.... I don't know anymore.
My nightmares are real now, no more happy endings.
I've apparently changed. Don't deny that, but she can't "wait" for me to be me again.
Deal with it.