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Birthday...

Today is literally the best day of my life.
NOT ONLy did i find out that millions is out and about... on my birthday...

BUT MY FRIEND GAVE ME AN MCR SHIRT. It is beautiful and fucking perfect. She so made my day.

Blanc

I find it surprising that today I decided to embrace my lack of emotion and thoughts. While normally this is replaced by negative emotions, if only to feel something at all, today I am blank.
This emptiness is peaceful, because without emotions why must I care about anything?
I haven't felt this nice in a long time.
Everyone's emotions are always pressing upon me, both the good and the bad. It's the blank i get in my head when I listen to music, as nothing else matters but the beat of the drums and the voice screaming lyrics into my head.

If i can retain equilibrium how would my life change?

Blanc

I find it surprising that today I decided to embrace my lack of emotion and thoughts. While normally this is replaced by negative emotions, if only to feel something at all, today I am blank.
This emptiness is peaceful, because without emotions why must I care about anything?
I haven't felt this nice in a long time.
Everyone's emotions are always pressing upon me, both the good and the bad. It's the blank i get in my head when I listen to music, as nothing else matters but the beat of the drums and the voice screaming lyrics into my head.

If i can retain equilibrium how would my life change?

Blanc

I find it surprising that today I decided to embrace my lack of emotion and thoughts. While normally this is replaced by negative emotions, if only to feel something at all, today I am blank.
This emptiness is peaceful, because without emotions why must I care about anything?
I haven't felt this nice in a long time.
Everyone's emotions are always pressing upon me, both the good and the bad. It's the blank i get in my head when I listen to music, as nothing else matters but the beat of the drums and the voice screaming lyrics into my head.

If i can retain equilibrium how would my life change?

Insomnia and Advice

Couldn't sleep again last night, maybe two hours? I am so tired, but have been banned from caffein! TT-TT
I want to sleep, but it somehow escapes me.

Could i have some advice? For my friend... I'm horrible at advice...

My friend has been using me as a free therapy session with her love life issues, lol. She is bi, and is in love with her friend, but that friend is confused and all that shit. Turns out the friend kissed my friend yesterday for no reason and wants to completely forget about it, claiming it was 'hormones'
My friend is confused and kinda crushed.
I seriously don't know what to

Insomnia and Advice

Couldn't sleep again last night, maybe two hours? I am so tired, but have been banned from caffein! TT-TT
I want to sleep, but it somehow escapes me.

Could i have some advice? For my friend... I'm horrible at advice...

My friend has been using me as a free therapy session with her love life issues, lol. She is bi, and is in love with her friend, but that friend is confused and all that shit. Turns out the friend kissed my friend yesterday for no reason and wants to completely forget about it, claiming it was 'hormones'
My friend is confused and kinda crushed.
I seriously don't know what to

Well this has been a while...

It's been a few months... I missed this.

I've been 'sick' recently. As in I have been hiding in my bedroom from high school.

I've made some new friends and stuff, but I honestly feel that it wouldn't matter if I was there or not.

I have been trying relentlessly to get my friend into MCR, she loved the ghost of you music video.

I don't know what to do right now. I feel alone, as usual.

I am procrastinating with all my makeup work, as usual.

I just want this mess to be over with already.

Well that was very disjointed, but I guess thats my brain right now!

Tomorrow

Last day of school, great and terrible tomorrow.

My mother has been yelling at me today, i guess thats better than being ignored.

My friend who moved away is visiting. I use to tell her everything... but then she became very religious. I'm not against it or anything, but when i need help I don't want you to give me a bible verse that is meaningless. She has become the embodiment of a perfect person, and thus would go to any adult with my problems, which i don't need.

I feel really sick tonight. Which is awful.

I want to *insert taboo subject here* so badly, just to forget my pain at least

This Song Saved My Life

Kinda my relationship with MCR.

Except they're gone now.
And with it, my lifeline.

Here Again

So i got a deviantart. I've been posting lots of my photography and trying to be myself again...
But the jazz is wearing off. It's been a week and a half, and i don't think I can last much longer.
I was hoping I was over my depression, but tonight it came back, with a vengeance.
I just want to disappear. Nothing seems to matter. Not my finals tomorrow. Not my art. Not my friends.
I just want to disappear.

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