The Wierdo from Hell's blog

i sleep
a lot
but not cuz im sleepy
its so i stop thinking
so i stop feeling
i know its bad
but i cant help it
i slept from 630 till 130 in the morning
i was awake till 5
avoiding all feeling
avoiding all thoughts on what my life is becoming
to speak would be a blessing
but also a curse
im going to listen to My Chemical Romance
to try to see everything from a different perspective
try to solve the problems
the problems in my head
the problems in my life
the problems in my soul
i feel like im insane
maybe i am
but its okay
it will be okay
trust me
theres 4 guys out there
thatll help
once i put the headphones on
drown out the world
and listen with my soul
HOPE.
something My Chemical Romance taught me
i have HOPE it will get better
i have HOPE that i will open my mouth and speak
one day
So long and Goodnight
because i will sleep once more to stop feeling
but i will try my best not to
i have to think things through
i have to FEEL. again

im bored
so i guess ill just say some random stuff
the song Under It All by New American Shame is playing
i don't know this song
but its playing in my 6th period English class
working on a Pegasus project
my ear hurts like a bitch
i have a lot of stuff due
that i haven't done
cuz im on here all the time
school ends at 4 is 12:31
i have band practice till 5:30
staying here at school till around 6 though
cuz i don't wanna go home
id rather spend time with Death Rocket and Iron Flame
Gerard's birthday was yesterday
i finished my letter yesterday
but i haven't sent it
cuz i wanna put the pinwheel i wanna give him inside
but its getting laminated in art class
so i will most likely send the letter rather late
now Round and Round by Ratt is playing
i dont know this song either
oh well that it for now
RUN, RUN, BUNNY, RUN
XOXO
VAMPIRE DETONATION

i have to do a project on the Pegasus
any ideas?
XOXO
VAMPIRE DETONATION

This song sounds dramatic
But I'm bad at writing words
If you don't speak English
This probably sounds pretty good
You'd probably think I'm singing
'Bout some pretty serious stuff
But in reality I'm singing about
The lack of stuff I'm singing 'bout

This part's intense and emotional
As long as you don't understand it
Your foreign grandma
Would love this song
Please send it to her
And she'll probably tell her foreign friends about the
song her grandson or daughter sent her today
This song might hit the charts in her country if parts
sounded like Coldplay

If the chorus sounds like Coldplay
Then I'll put some La La La's in there
La la la la la la la la la la la la (Coldplay)
Hopefully, your foreign grandma listens to this song
every day
And if she asks you to translate the lyrics here's what
you say:

idk here ya go its hilariouss
Dramatic Song
A perfect translation does not exist
Well, at least, not in your language

I couldnt take spring break. I broke down so many times because i couldnt see death rocket. I couldnt talk to her. I wanted to hold her. I had become dependent of her. I wanted to do what she did to herself so badly. I wrote stuffin a journal. Like how i felt about her and how i wanted to do the same as she did because i was having identity problems because i knew i wasnt lesbian and all of this stuff.

i havent finished writting my letter to gerard
its really fucking long
i have seven pages and have estimated that i may use up to a total of 15
oh well
i hope he has time to read 15 pages of my life and thank yous
sending him an mcr pinwheel i made for his birthday
if i can steal it out of art class
XOXO
VAMPIRE DETONATION

i scared myself a few days ago
and i havent felt much in a few days because im scared of feeling what i felt on saturday
but when i came on here i finally felt again
thank u guys for making me feel
i cried
but they werent sadness
but they werent joy either
more like relief
thank you all
XOXO
VAMPIRE DETONATION

im bored
idk what to write although i know i have a lot to say since last week
im still trying to cope with it i guess
i feel like im such a creep
at least she says shes ok with it though
when i feel more comfirtable with the events of my life ill tell you all
still trying to process it myself
im a creepy ass mother fucker
this has to do with the girl i fell in love with
im not lesbian though or bi
idk
its weird
shes my best friend
i just think shes the most beautiful thing ive come across
and she knows it
ill get back to u
XOXO
VAMPIRE DETONATION

even though they ended on friday
they have saved me once again
its been a total of 6 times now
1-finding my true self(1 year ago)
2-depression because i was afraid to walk this world alone (summer two years ago)
3-suicidal because of rejection(last summer)
4-they taught me how to FEEL again (october)
5-they taught me how to LOVE without fear (on friday a few hours before it was posted that they ended)
6-they taught me how to have HOPE(today a few minutes ago)

even though they ended on friday
they have saved me once again
its been a total of 6 times now
1-finding my true self(1 year ago)
2-depression because i was afraid to walk this world alone (summer two years ago)
3-suicidal because of rejection(last summer)
4-they taught me how to FEEL again (october)
5-they taught me how to LOVE without fear (on friday a few hours before it was posted that they ended)
6-they taught me how to have HOPE(today a few minutes ago)