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I'm so tired.

In the past two days I've got about 5 hours sleep max, it's horrible, and college has been a drag. I've been fucked up at least 3 times these past 7 days or so, last Tuesday, 'cause I was having a rough week last week as well, my friend Michael suggested we go get high (don't lecture me I don't care.) during our lunch break, and I agreed after a while, so that was fun and then we were laughing pretty much all through art, and I drew an octopus and went home. I got told off 'cause I wasn't meant to draw an octopus. Then on Friday, fuccck. Where do I begin? It was terrible...Well it was amazing, but it was terrible for my health. My friend had this party and a load of us went, my (ex) boyfriend was meant to go, but he didn't due to the fact that everyone dislikes him at the moment. Anyway, the party was amazing, but I had a whole bottle of vodka, and there was a guy there who kept getting me high, like every 20 minutes or so, and I did a bong as well, that was fun.

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And the shit hits the fan. Today's been horrible.

Today's been horrible. Yesterday was pretty bad too. I'm just gonna come out and rant 'cause fuck.

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Ah Idk just stuff I guess.

I'm bored and nervous so here goes. Yeah, so 3 years ago tonight was the one and only time I saw MCR. Kinda sad still that they're gone, I miss them. :( Uhm, in other news I bumped into an old friend today, I've known him for years, we go to the same college but I rarely see him, as he's either in another building or bunking off. Anyway I was outside waiting for a friend of mine to finish his fag, and he came up and joined us :) I showed him my new tattoos, and we spoke for a while, it was nice to catch up, but I couldn't stop looking at his arms. I don't think I need to explain any further there. But like I said it was cool to catch up, he used to be one of my best friends, then a while ago he started getting into all sorts of drugs, not just the pansy shit, like I mean Class A injectable shit. He's good now though, thank god. But it made me happy to see him today. As well as that I've got a job interview tomorrow!

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tired tired tired

I met up with some friends tonight, we all went to the pub, but for a few reasons (i.e driving, work) they weren't drinking much, I didn't have these issues as I'm an unemployed loser who relies on public transport, so I was on my 3rd drink while they were finishing their 1st. The night ended pretty early, two of them went home at 11, and then my and my other friend drove around this empty car park before I too went home, where I finished a bottle of vokda and started on some beer. It sucks that it ended so early, 'cause I could've gone on drinking, but yeah, it's now like 3am, and I'm just really tired and feeling kiinnnnnddaaa drunk, but I've only got one beer left and mostly i just feel lonely. I was gonna draw some comic-ish style thing, but I don't have the motivation. I have college on Monday so tomorrow I'll go down the shop with my remaining £6 and buy a little bottle of vodka, as I'm clean out and that won't fucking do.

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Sorry for posting so much, I can't help it :')

Yeah I post on here quite a bit, but I try and make sure I only post every few days or so I dunno. But yeah what's happened lately. Last night I hung out with some friends of mine, it was awesome, we went to the shop and bought a bottle of vodka and a bottle of whiskey, and finished the two of them, as well as that one of my friends bought "A little something extra ;)" as he put it, when he arrived I asked him what it was and he just replied "Happy drugs, very happy drugs." I think he was already a bit fucked.

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I ALMOST DIED. Well, not really but hey it makes a funny story.

So I left in a rush for college today, like in such a rush that I forgot my coat and pencil case, so yay, out in the cold walking through town in the rain at 7:45am, hungover on a Monday morning in January .-. Not fun. And I saw what I thought was my bus across the road, and I was tired and didn't want to wait in the cold for half an hour for the next one, so I ran across the road without looking, (Nice one brain) fucking car comes out of nowhere, like literally it stopped about an inch or two from me, if I'd fallen slightly to the right I would've been on the bonnet, so yeah, that made my heart skip a beat or 20. The driver was waving his fist at me and shouting through the windscreen, and I apologised and ran to the bus stop, wasn't even my bus standing there. Fuck sake, it was a different, similar looking one.

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it can't last forefer.

i dunno i was happy a week or so ago. also i got my first tattoo. it means a lot to me and i'm really happy with it. :) it's a Green day reference to my favourite song of theirs :) But yeah i felt really sad earlier, like really sad, and i decided to go get drunk on my own in my room which maybe wasn't the best idea 'cause now i feel really really really sad and drunk and i can't feel my hands. but yeah i'm just listening to frank turner and i just want to cry and i dunno why i'm so upset. i speant the weekend with one of my best frends and it was amazing, but now i'm super upset and i have college tomorrow, and i just ugh. it's only midnight and i never get to sleep until fucking 4am and i'm tempted to have some of my co-codamol ccause it makes me relaxed and tired and i shouldn't be drinking, i've been drinking for the past 4 days and i should stop but ican't.

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Ooh

Holy shitballs I'm sober. For the past few days I've been drinking and I can't remember which day it started, I know my friend messaged me drunk, and convinced me to get drunk as well (I tried to fight it, honest. Kinda) Anyway and that was sometime mid last week, I asked him today and he said it was Wednesday. But yeah, go me! The only thing I've been drinking all night is apple juice! I'll go to bed at a regular time and hopefully wake up and not be a zombie for college tomorrow. No promises. Also I'm getting my tattoo tomorrow, really nervous but pretty excited as well, then hanging out with some friends afterwards. I don't feel too great today, like mood wise I still wanted to dig a hole and hide in it forever, but I definitely feel a hell of a lot better than I have done for the past few days. But yeah, I've pretty much run out of shit to say. Hope y'all are well.
Keep running, bitches. xo

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i'm not meant to be this drunk goddammit.

iv'e eaten today and everything and i've barely had anything to drink like quaarter of a bottle of vodka which is nothing but i'm relally feeling it and I'm really tired and i've got a headache and i'm allon my own, and my friends are sad so i'm trying to cheer them up but i can't do it and i'm just listening to mcr on my own at like 4am. i spent the last of my money on vodka like wtf i don't even have a job anymore and that'severything gone. idk it's like 4am i should go to bed i guess but i ahve no energy and i dno't wanna do anything and i'm really sorry cos no one wants to hear this. teenagers just came on and it reminded me of my friend, it was his favourite song and we used go get driunk and sing along to it. i shiold go to bed, it's late and i'm sad, ad i have a headache. i'm sorry, not one wants to hear this.

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2.5mg just aint enough for me

Yeah the titles a Frank Iero reference ;) i went to the pharmacy the other day 'cause I have really bad headaches and paracetamol just wasn't kicking it...And i'm scared of doctors places, so pharmacy it was.