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Its at 4:00am when your thoughts talk the loudest

Now that im supposed to be asleep my mind wont stop asking questions... About things that hurt. Its like if i was thinking of what i tried to avoid the whole day. The funny thing is that, i have most of the answers... I just repeat it to myself... Louder and louder till thats all i can hear. I should stop it, im only making it worse... The REAL question. (and so far the only one i dont know the answer to) is 'how?' anyway, this is random... But i need to put it somewhere. Dont i?

Even though everyone did this already...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAY TORO :D i hope you have an amazing birthday and you get ALL the cupcakes you want :D! you are an inspiration, thank you for being SO awesome! love youuuu!
btw, we should trend #HappyBirthdayRayToro on twitter ;)

Thats what guys do ♥

So, heres a new...poem i guess? tell me what you think(:
[You know what i hate?
I hate love
First you meet this guy, right?
He’s your friend. Everything’s fine.
But then, oh then you GOTTA start falling for him
And he kinda likes you, you think
You talk all night
And he makes you smile
You hug him tight
You think this love will last
But then he breaks your heart
And you wanna die..
you’re left alone
in the coldest night
Where did it go?
The love that lasted so long?
Is it over now?
He never really cared, from the start.
It takes a while
But you really try
You forget the guy
You can

Tae kwon do

So, veronica (one of my best friends) goes to tae kwon do, right? and shes like super amazing at it xD And now im going to tae kwon do too and she kicked my ass! its so much fun, i adore that sport! and im not much of a fighter, and i dont like punching and stuff but this is really really fun! yesterday i was so tired i fell asleep while talking with a friend! and veronica said shes proud of me cuz im doing great :3 lol im happy!

I should stop doing this thingys

1) You ready for 125 questions?
Yay! yesss
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
3) Do you believe in God?
With all my heart :B
4) Who last said "I love you" to you?
One of my fellow killjoys (:
5) Do you think they regret it?
Lol i hope he doesnt xD
6) Have you ever been depressed?
Yeah.. :s
7) Have a best friend?
4 actually :D
8) Are you a boy or a girl?
Girrrrl :)
9) What is your relationship status?
Single and not looking for a relationship!
10) How do you want to die?
Something like..a zombie attack :D wouldnt that be cool?
11) What did you last eat?
An apple :P
12) Play

Cuz I have nothing else to do :)

Level 1:
() Smoked A Cigarette
() Smoked A Cigar
() Kissed a member of the same sex
(x) Drank Alcohol (& I regret that day :s)
Level 2:
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Been Dumped
() Shoplifted
() Been Fired
() Been In A Fist Fight
Level 3:
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
() Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
Level 4:
() Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
() Been To Paris
(x) Been To England
(x) Been On A Plane
() Thrown Up From Drinking
Level 5:
(x) Eaten Sushi
() Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone

I just fell down the stairs! :D

lol i was running down the stairs and i dont know how my foot got stucked somewhere and BOOM i fell :D and it hurt so bad! my head is bleeding and instead of doing something about it i was on the floor like "Oh i gotta blog this :D" lol and im actually crying xD cuz it hurts, but its okay(: and my dogs were all over me like "Are you okay???" lol i love dogs :) now im ranting..anyway, thats what happened(: now i gotta go clean the blood & stuff e_e and take a bath :D

Mental illness

My parents say i have a mental illness cuz i cut myself & now theyre spending all their free time with me and they take me everywhere & stuff. Its fun, i like being with them :D specially with my dad, hes cool(: & cuz of my "mental illness" they let me do everything i want :o i know its not a good thing lol but they literally let me do everything. i failed history and they didnt get mad & i dyed my hair purple without asking & they didnt get mad! :o they didnt!! i thought theyd be pissed, but no. they were like "Oh, looks nice on you" & stuff :o its so weirddd.

whats happening? ):

i dont feel like im the same, just like if my body was empty already, like if i had no soul i guess, i just cry all day, i dont even smile and im tired already.. of everything, i dont know what to do -.-' im tired of myself actually, i cant stand me. PLUS im getting in lots of trouble that i shouldnt even care about but i do so yeah.. any of you guys feel like that? sometimes? it goes away after a while? i hope so, i wanna be the same. :/

anywhere, just take me anywhere

i just wanna fucking go.. i dont know where but i just wanna leave, im dying here. ive been crying nonstop all day and its 4:40am and i cant sleep. i wont be able to sleep in a while. seriously killjoys someone kill me right now