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what happened to my blogs?

a bunch of my blogs got erased i dont know why :c anyone has the same problem?

the most important blog ill write. i want to start a prayer.

Please read lol It may be a little long, but its something that very important to me.
I was on twitter talking to this girl who is very depressed, hating the reality she lives in. this makes me really sad, because I know how does it feel to be like this, to be on the ground bleeding. And I know most of you (if not all of you) know how that feels too. what unites us apart from the fact that we love MCR is that we all have difficult lives, more than any chav at school.

Im about to have my MCRmy anniversary

in 6 days it'll be two years that i joined the community, though i loved MCR before but yknow.
i just wanna thank you all, even if no ones gonna read this, i wanna thank each and every one that has cared about me and supported me, or even if i havent talked to you yet, i wanna thank you for being a part of this amazing family that has kept me going through so many hard times, its so comforting to know that no matter what happens ill always have you guys, people that are like me, that understand and are here to listen.

someone spit at me.

theres sometimes i want to stab myself to death..

I wish i could be dead now

And im not the only one that wants me dead, i would make a whole bunch of people so happy. Im going insane, yet again... The worst nightmare i could have is better by far than the reality i live in. I dont want to sound like i want anyones attention, i just need to put my thoughts somewhere. Im not looking for anyone to help either, nothing anyone could say would make things better. All i can think of asking myself right now is 'what else (if theres something) can go wrong now?' my life and selfpity make me sick and yet im pathetic enough to feel the need to write it down.

if youre having a bad time..

soooooo.... im feeling very good right now cuz i talked to my friends on here and and and i missed them and im happy c: and everything is going so great right now, i mean not great, i still fight with my family have some problems here and there but nothing worth the mention, in general things arents so bad, compared to how i was living 6 months ago.. i was in a hole, desperate and about to die, literally.
and now things seem to be working out.

nothing my psyquiatrist hasnt told me yet

[x] You hate your body.
[x] You have starved yourself.
[x] You have low self esteem.
[ ] You use laxatives.
[x] You need to be skinnier.
[x] People always say you're skinny, but you think fat.
[ ] People think you are way too skinny.
[x] You skip at least one meal a day.
[ ] You limit your calories or check them constantly by compulsion.
Total: 6
[x] You are hyper most of the time.
[x] You barely pay attention to anything.
[x] You cannot cooperate with people well.
[x] You seem to never sit still.
[x] You talk all the time.
[ ] You need attention 24/7.
[x] You aren't very shy.

im sick and tired of hurting myself

but i really cant help it....


yesterday was the worst day ever and today is the worst day ever too. i hate everything, ive been crying nonstop and im just... god i hate this

Hurricane ._.

ok, so. theres a hurricane passing through my city right now. like, NOW. and i dont usually get scared by stuff like this, but o_o its so loud, im alone at home, like TOTALLY, i just have my pets with me. and im just hoping my laptop doesnt die. the wind is literally screaming and the rain is hitting the windows so hard i feel like theyre gonna break, the trees outside are falling and the doors sound like if someone was trying to open them though its just the wind. my dogs are shaking uncontrollably, im scared, but i know ill be fine.