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Doubt that anyone will comment or actually read this...

I'm noticing that people aren't really commenting as they used to. So if anyone comments, well then, a wild comment appears!
I've hit the valley of loneliness. My brother lectured me after I spent time with his girlfriend after church tonight because I felt alone and wanted to talk to a girl. So fucking sorry. It doesn't help that he still doesn't get the fact that I'm lonely and depressed because of my loneliness. I just want to cry.
I wonder if anyone would care if I vanished. It's not like anyone would notice. I'm just a misfit, the wrong piece to the puzzle; I don't belong, in my eyes, that is. I just want to get away from it all, so I really can't wait to get out of the house and go to college. At least there I could have a fresh start and not worry about offending the people I love. The sooner I leave for college, the sooner I can stop worrying about the approval of people who don't care about me even half as much as I care about them, as it's a lost cause for me.

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Ugh... Another Dreaded Mood Swing...

Title says it all. I feel lonely again... Anyone wanna chat?

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First Story Post

The story I want to post will go up tomorrow, as its a bit difficult to type it up on my phone.
Title of it is "Begging". It has "fuck" in there once. Just a forewarning.

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Seems to be Popular... Getting to Know Me..?

1. Any scars?
~ some physical and some emotional. All unintentional.
2. Crush?
~not right now..
3. Kissed anyone?
~ yes, all guys, I loved it. Especially with my ex Octavio... He's a GREAT kisser ;)
4. Coke or Pepsi?
~ Coke!!!
5. Someone you hate?
~ not really. I'm a very loving person
6. Best friends?
~ Kayley, Sharlene, my mom, Tyler (I kinda like him as more than a friend, though), and many others.
7. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?
~ tasted alcohol, I used to have to take medication. I still take an ibuprofen every now and then.
8. What's your dream job?
~ to teach music and/or deaf children, to inspire and save lives
9. Ever been in love?
~ yes. It fricking hurts
10. Last time you cried?
~ yesterday. Depression hurts
11. Favourite color?
~ blue, green, purple, mauve, red... Really, it's anything (except pink), it just depends on my mood
12. Height?
~ 5' something
13. Birthday?
~ 2 November
14. Eye colour?
~ dark to golden brown
15. Hair colour?

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I'm thinking that I may want to post some of my stories here... I won't do it if people don't want me to.
Any thoughts?

Peace off! Boop!


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Economics Class= Boring

Well, I woke up this morning, as usual, and I thought it was Saturday. I laid in bed for a few minutes, just relaxing before it hit me. 'Shit, it's Wednesday...' Nothing ruins your Saturday morning like realizing its only Wednesday.
Whelp, I'm currently sitting in economics, bored as hell... I should be taking notes, and I sorta am, but I'm in the mood for writing, as my inspiration for the story I'm working on (NSFW, so I'm not posting it here.) has returned (which means my depression is lifted for the time being).
Well, happy Wednesday (Saturday) to all. Get your coffee, cereal, or whatever gets you awake (cereal for me... Coffee makes me tired) and have a great day, everyone :)
Bless your face. If you sneezed while reading this, bless you. Peace off! Boop! (Credit to tobuscus)


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Meh... Random Swinging of Moods

Well, first off, hello. Before I somewhat "vent," just wondering how everyone is doing. Good? Meh? Ok.
Ok, so I sorta "suffer" from random mood swings and "severe depression," and I don't really know when an onset of depression may happen because of mood swings. I guess it's triggered by certain thoughts, people, places, etc. Well, I guess I just hit a spot of depression caused by the fear of being lonely. In other words, I feel alone which is making me depressed which is not good. I'm not sure why I feel alone, I mean I bought prom tickets for my date (bestie) and I today and got assistance for my senior project, so I really have no reason to be sad or feel lonely. I really do have no idea why I'm like this right now; I feel like I'm on the verge of tears, but without reason.
Ok, venting: over. Bless your face. If you sneezed while reading this, bless you. Peace off! Boop! (Yet another Tobuscus reference for the youtubers subscribed to tobygames or tobuscus on this site)

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Apologies for Yesterday

I realize that my blog from yesterday may have been a bit over the top, at least it was by my standards. I've gotten better since yesterday. I just felt the need to get it all out. I haven't done anything to myself, I'm really fine aside from the depression that comes and goes.
Blog: done.
Bless your face, if you sneezed while reading this, bless you. Peace off! Boop! Dododododododododo- "subscribe"!! (More Tobuscus!!!)

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I'm unsure about the titling for this

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website and is distressing for others]

3. No self harm posts
If you are feeling like you may harm yourself please contact someone who can help.

Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or twloha.com/find-help. You can also contact The Trevor Project at thetrevorproject.org or by calling their Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

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Random Poem Time!!

So, I usually don't post poems here, but I was considering it in order to get my works out of my head and onto a more public domain... I mean, I have posted a poem on a website, but that may only go so far.
Please comment, criticism is highly accepted.

I Thought of You Today

A slip of paper,
A forgotten letter,
Made me think of you today.
I read some words,
I shed some tears,
Knowing what you had to say.
It was from a time
When love rang true,
A thing that has gone away.
But as I write this,
Please just know,
I thought of you today.

I wondered why
It all went wrong,
Was it my fault?
Was I not good enough?
Then I wondered
If you thought of me
When you burnt away
My memory
The way I'm thinking
Of you.

I'm empty inside
With the thoughts
Of you running in my mind.
However, I know
That our time is done,
Nothing can change that fact.
Nothing can change
My heart's pain
From your harsh grasp
Of it.
Nothing can change
My everlasting