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so this just came in time for Gerard's bday.
Pretty psyched.
I was pissed cause it was delayed and taking forever to get here,
But the fact that it came on gees bday, I think it was fate.

MCR sounds fucking sick on vinyl btw.


I decided to do something bad tonight that I have been trying to stop.
It makes me feel like shit, but it also numbs my emotions and gives me
Some relief. I'm finally not feeling the anxiety and depression that was getting so unbearable.

Like I said the other day, my life is stagnant and needs a change.
I hate feeling shitty and I hate talking about feeling shitty, so this is therapeutic that I'm opening up to a bunch of strangers. I internalize everything. I just need to let it all out one day. But that isn't today. For now, I'll live with the decisions that I've made.

So bored.

Work is boring.
Life is boring.
I need a change, and I need it quick.
Don't want to self destruct, but it looks as if it will happen this afternoon.
Fuck boredom. It's been my downfall for years.

First blog.

So this is the first time I'm posting on here after years of not being on's awesome to see so many people still devoted to this band. They really had a major hand in shaping my life. MCR literally saved my life on several occasions and continues to even today... I'm kind of at a point where I need them as much as I needed them in my worst times, which is what brought me back here.... It's so hard to see that the guys are distancing themselves from the band.