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Death

Death...a five letter word that can make the toughest people cry. It makes you feel like your heart has fallen and stopped beating. For a moment every happy memory flies through your mind until that dark moment when you realize that your loved one will soon be gone from your life.

Two days ago my family took my cat to a vet. Yes, I know for those of you who don't understand how important an animal can be this may sound dumb but quite frankly I don't care what you think. Anyway, we took her to the vet because she had lost a ton of weight and would not play or be loving anymore.

18 days til move-in!

18 more days til I move back into school. New age, new dorm, new year, new surprises.
It's no secret that I'm trying something new this year but I also want some things to go back to normal. So I guess I'm putting together a list of what I hope to happen this year.

First, I want Theresa, Dalton, and I to go back to how things were our freshman year. The whole doing everything together. It was always the three of us. From having every single class together to walking for lunch everyday. After all we were besties. I want that again. We've drifted but after a while the ship has to redock.

A chance to evolve

This past year...and all of the previous years..have taught me one thing. Sometimes you have to go through heartache in order to learn how to grow strong and confident. I've been through it all...so I'd like to think. Just enough to teach me that I can't be that girl who forgives all of the time. I need to stay strong and put my foot down when something is wrong, otherwise..the only one who will continue to get hurt is myself. . . and to that I say no more.

On July 30th, I turned 20 years old. I said goodbye to my teenage years. I am an adult now..or am I?

First Breakup Experience

First breakup....still can't believe it happened.. at first it didn't hurt so bad..in fact it didn't at all. There I was on the beach like every other day, laying on the sand and listening to music. Suddenly my phone went off and it was him. I had knots in my stomach...which was different from the butterflies I usually had. I answered and we said hello. He followed with "do you have a minute?" .....and I knew what was coming. If you read my previous blog...I was debating whether or not this relationship was working out or not. He confirmed that it wasn't.

What A Boyfriend I Have

Well, there's a bunch to say. I guess I'll just start off by saying yesterday marked 2 months with my boyfriend. There's a catch to this but it all started about 2 weeks ago. He spent 3 days with me at my summer home for a really awesome trip that I thought would be so much fun to share with him. The down part was that we didn't have much time to spend alone being that my mom and sister were also there. On the first night, we had a little time together after everyone else went to sleep. Things got a little heated and I told him that I took back what I said before.

My First Relationship

Well here I go...ready to write out my experience of being in my first relationship. Quite honestly..it scares me. It scares me to think I may finally fall in love or that it could all go wrong and I will be the one hurt in the end. So I guess I will start from the very beginning.

It was the night of his band's show in a battle of the bands type contest. I went with two of my guy friends because I figured it was time to get away from all of my work at college. I also love going to concerts...the thrill of it all just takes away every worry and frustration.

Since when did my blog become all about my love disaster life??

I know my blogs have recently been about the guy I previously ....well I dont know what to call it anymore. I feel like a damn MTV show..like AWKWARD or another episode of My Life As Liz. From what I am going through why not make a show of my life?? I just can't help but feeling as though things are not yet resolved between us. So far I have been making effort to talk to him. I want to hangout with him but I don't think he agrees. I cant help but feel as though he is avoiding me...maybe he is trying to just get over me? But then why do I always feel like he forces himself to say hi to me?

When did I become a douche bag??

Well today definitely didn't go as planned...kind of. I finally told him how I felt. Broke my heart to have to tell him we shouldn't be together. He treated me so well....no one ever cared so much for me and yet there were no sparks or anything between us. I know I hurt him alot...I could see it in his face. He didn't say much at all. He understood but somehow I think he just wanted to leave and get over it. I would've understood even if he did.

Friends with weird boyfriends

So one of my close friends recently got a new boyfriend. He is in a fraternity and basically...friends with the kid from my previous blogs, the one that likes me. Anyway I can't help but give a look over to my other friend when she brings her bf to our table at lunch/meals. I just have a problem with him! I cant describe what I dont like about him, He jsut gives me this weird feeling. And I feel like he always stares at me. ughhh I feel bad...I dont want him at our table...hes just not someone I like very much.

Anticipation.....

In my previous blog, I wrote about a recent dilemma involving a guy that has feelings for me. Turns out I didnt speak to him about anything yet. I really worried...I hate hurting peoples feelings. I know that as soon as I decide to talk to him, I am going to freak out and shake because I am going to be so nervous. Is it bad that I am seeking advice from my best guy friend/ ex crush? Long story short, we had a past together...its still in works on becoming friends and forgetting what happened between us in the past.But now I just feel like theres no one else to go to for advice.

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