well the world is gonna end in about 20 hours or so(my time zone),if it does,i want you to know,how happy i am to have you guys help me,without you im sure my life would be miserable,i love you all,and everyone in my life,except for thy enimies,if it does end,i guess il see you all in hell(thats where im going),or the after life,if its the afterlife,we can all throw a party,but as im saying,i love you and if the world doesnt end im going to have to explain this..I LOVE YOU JAMES............and why i sent im the same thing but in german
an actuall conversation after school with the number one girl who hates me
girl:why do you like that emo garbage?
girl:why are you like this,why arent you like us(her friends)
me:your all one 'direction and justin bieber'..im'my chemical romance and fallout boy,im nothing like you
girl:well you should be maube you'd have a boyfriend intead of these guys who cant get girlfriends(gestures to a guy friend is depressed)
me:fuck off an dont insult my friends
lesson here,never hang out on her turf after school,i guess its back to starbucks
on monday i was talken with my crush and his friend,i was telling them about a bracelet my sister made with all the killjoy colors,they then asked what the killjoys are from,i said My Chemical Romance,my crush then proceeded to wrestle me to the ground and pull down my hoodie sleeves to see if i cut,our english teacher was out of the room so she didnt see this,but he pretty much pinned me to the ground to see if i cut,i then yelled at him"just cause i listen to My Chemical Romance doesnt mean i cut,now get off me you fuck"he climbed off me sat down,and laughed,i want to drive his head into
i cant even except fate right now,i mean its 3 more days till MCR releases "the world is ugly"and"the light behind your eyes",ill admit i read some of the lyrics and theyre killing me,i cant stop crying,and my mom found out i talk to the voices in my head,shes sending me to a psycatrist,and the sandy hook shooting is hurting too,i dont even wanna go to school on monday,ill be alone again for another 4 days,trying destpretly to act like i dont care what people have to say,and to keep calm,knowing that conventional weapons might be MCR's last album,well im pretty sure ill go crazy and end up in
i have the voices in my head who i have named,killjoy is the happy one,but she read the shooting and wont stop crying,her and bobby,alice is having trouble controling them,i feel sorry for the shooting too,and the rainy weather here isnt helping releave the heartbreak,and my classmates wont shut up about the 21st,its not that im sacred the world is gonna end,im scared its not gonna change,i guess its like gerard says,"the world is ugly"
i take a nap for 2 hours,and i wake up and hear about a school shooting,ill admit tears are falling cause,it was 27 people,18 alone were little children!,then you start to think about parents waking up and seeing the presents still wrapped under the tree,the funerals for such young lives,i will never forget this,now every christmas i will send good thought to the children's parents,and it seems like everytime i take a nap,something bad happens,the last time i fell alseep,mitch lucker died,this was the first time in months ive taken a nap and theres a shooting,ill just stop sleeping
well theres another voice to add to my insanity,her name is killjoy,she reminds me of music and whats best and happy in my sad life,i like her,she keeps alice from killing jeff
[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website. Unfortunately due to serious legal issues we cannot allow posts of this nature on this website]
3. No self harm posts
If you are feeling like you may harm yourself please contact someone who can help.
so i found out what kids call me and school,this is my nick name now"the offspring of jeff and jane",all just cause i talk of ways of killing,im just gonna go crawl in a hole and never come back out
as you walk besides me,ill painfully put a smile on my face,just so you dont see my tattered beating heart,ill close my eyes when i laugh so you wont see the retched black coal that is my soul,ill grin with all teeth even though its not real,ill act as if nothing bad is going on but really my heart is slowly beating,when you ask if im okay,ill smile and wave it off saying im fine,but when look past my fake emotions and see im dying for your help,is when ill actually bust down in tears and lose my mind