smashingcupcakes's blog

Yeah the title says it all. I feel like I mess everything up. I mean do I never say anything important when I should. Last year I was kinda popular but a lot of stuff happened and I have almost no friends now. I NEVER get to talk to my best friend without a 7th grader budding in or saying something really mean. I've been told I will never amount to anything. I'm called names, shoved, and everything aost daily at school. There is one guy I like and I think my friend is flirting with him and I think he likes her. I barely talk to my 'crush' because I don't want to sound lile a freak. I was told I can't write or draw by several people even though I've tried so hard. The only thing I can really open up to is music, art, and this website, because I know you won't judge me (I hope.) I can't sing apparently either. My life just seems to fall down at times and I'm left weak to the world and I'm never the same after and everyone just says I'm being my 'emo' self.

So I'm sick today *sarcastic yeah!!* Anyways I read I post on here saying like two people from their school have committed suicide. Ok I'm not saying I go to that school because I don't even know of a school any were close to were I go to that has happened this year. I also didn't know the kids or anything but I have known some people that gas committed suicide before and it honestly sucks. I'm not trying to sound rude or anything but it sucks poising someone to it. Especially if they have tried to do it mote than once. I mean how could someone want someone to feel that lonely. To get them to feel like nothing will help them like the world is better off without them. Sure I'm not popular at my school. I've been picked on everyday I've been told I'm never going to amount to anything and a lot of other crap. yeah being made fun of sucks but sometimes we need to come out of our shell and help other people no matter how much crap we get for it.

Ok so today was going pretty badly. A lot of stuff happened and it's a Monday. And I was super tired. Anyways I was on the verge if tears all day long and skipped breakfast and lunch because I wasn't really feeling good either. So today was horrible I was tired, sick, upset trying to block out the world and fall alseep. But after school I went on Pandora radio on my iPod. Then a familiar song came on Famous Last Words. I'm not sure about you guys but I adore that song I love all of the bands song but I just really like this song. Anyways my day just got a lot better from listening to that. I just started singing the lyrics as best as I could and closed my eyes. My dad probably thought I was crazy but I always sing when I'm upset or whatever. Anyways I'm really happy now and guess what.?.?. IT SNOWED!!!!! I love snow (at times) but it's starting to melt which sucks because I don't want to go back to school tomorrow.

Ok so today was going pretty badly. A lot of stuff happened and it's a Monday. And I was super tired. Anyways I was on the verge if tears all day long and skipped breakfast and lunch because I wasn't really feeling good either. So today was horrible I was tired, sick, upset trying to block out the world and fall alseep. But after school I went on Pandora radio on my iPod. Then a familiar song came on Famous Last Words. I'm not sure about you guys but I adore that song I love all of the bands song but I just really like this song. Anyways my day just got a lot better from listening to that. I just started singing the lyrics as best as I could and closed my eyes. My dad probably thought I was crazy but I always sing when I'm upset or whatever. Anyways I'm really happy now and guess what.?.?. IT SNOWED!!!!! I love snow (at times) but it's starting to melt which sucks because I don't want to go back to school tomorrow.

Ok so about my blog last night I tetras it and it sounded like I have anxiety... Ok thats kinda weird to me. Well yeah that stuff did happen before. But I've also been watching A LOT of horror movies and stuff like that right before bed so yeah that doesn't help expesially since I live in the town I live in. It's pretty dangerous. Anyways yeah I just looked at the movies I watched and that would explain it. Ok so I'm a fan of horror movies and stuff but I've been watching them at like around 1:00am and I really haven't thought about it that much. And yeah that's about it. The next chapter of the story will be posted later and maybe a little bit of the lyrics to a song I'm writing... Anyways I'm rambling and I have to start writing my English report so bye. Hope everyone has a nice day or night depending on were you are.

Ok I'm not really crazy but I just feel like I am. Ok so I think none of you know that my house used to be I don't know the term for this 'haunted' I guess. I am not kidding my house used to be so scary. I mean I saw stuff that wasn't there I could here people talking. I was terrified of the place. My sister had it worse I think. Ok well I was around 6 or 7 when It stopped for some odd reason I have no idea why. But I still remember the night terrors I had and I still wakes me up. It felt like someone was stabing me once then it felt like someone was choking me trying to kill me while I was sleeping. That's why the song Sleep reminds me of that time I mean I'm almost 14 and I remember that stuff to this day. Anyways last night I had a super freaky dream and I decided to kinda write a song about it because thats the person I am wanting to write songs about everything. Anyways I know this person who we just might have play rhythm guitar in the band I'm in.

Ok I know no one will probably read this or comment but I don't know maybe. Ok so I just saw Breaking Dawn Part Two. Ok judge me for wanting to see it but I kinda lile Twilight ok I don't lile how she recreated vampires but still I lile it it just I dont know. I always have liked it and I've read the books multiple times. I really enjoyed the movie to be honest the ending almost made me cry. I hate endings like that but sometimes they are good. But anyways this week was really crazy. I had only 2 days of school (YES!!!) and I'm suppose to be making an outline for English of the person I'm writing a biography thing for and I just happened to choose Gerard Way but I'm also adding facts on the other band members because I figured why not they are a part of his life might as well. But yeah I'm supposed to be making an outline but I really don't want to. I mean I like the topic but I just don't like how the teacher has me do stuff.

Ok so I'm sorry this didn't get posted earlier I was busy and spaced it I wrote it on my arm and kept spacing it with other posts, homework, band arrangements an alot if other stuff. But last chapter the girls got new killjoy stuff and were led into a room by the fab. four.
CHAPTER 4

Hi. Ok so the story thing I'm writing the next chapter or two will be posted in a while. I'd love to post them not but I'm babysitting and I'm not supposed to be on the Internet unless it's an emergency. And this is one.... Kinda I'm babysitting my other little sister (age 4) with me other little sister (who is 11). Ok anyways since me and her are close were were talking about what we want for Christmas. Then I realised she gets her bass soon. Ok so I'm not sure everyone knows this but I am the frontperson of a band and Jessica really wanted to play bass. She's getting one and learning just so she can be in the band. Well I saw the one she wants and it's super cool. She's getting a short scale and it's a FENDER!!!!! Ok my family ADORES fender I have no idea why but when ever we get a guitar it's Fender. Well anyways I realized I have no idea what I want.

Ok so I have been wanting bright red hair since I was like 4 apparently. Don't ask it looks cool. I've been asking my mom for like ever and she finally agreed. Ok so when I found out Gerard had red hair (I found out like 2 years ago.) I flipped I mean here was a person I loole up to with the hair color I wanted. Well since I'm turning 14 next Friday I get to dye my hair soon. So yeah if you have or had red hair could you tell me some pros and cons or whatever it would be very much appreciated. I'm really happy now if you can't tell. I've had red hair once for a birthday party an it was the temporay stuff and everyone said it looked nice. Wan to know one thing I've realized since my northday is coming up. I have never had a birthday party for myself. I had one when I was 7 but none of my friends showed up. You can see how cool I was. :/ Anyways I might have one this year and I'm happy.